I Need to Talk To Three Sets of People

1. People who brake turning right with a green arrow. It is your turn. You don't have to stop. Do you stop at a regular green light when you are going straight? No? So don't brake when you have a green arrow. A green arrow means it is now more your turn than ever before.

2. People who brake going through yellow lights. Is this a guilt brake? Are you feeling bad about running the yellow light? Are you going to come to a stop, back up, and wait at the red light? No? Okay then. Commit. COMMIT.

3. People who brake going uphill. You know what is the same as braking going uphill? Taking your foot off the gas. Don't be afraid. Be like the Little Engine That Could. Conquer that hill.

That's You In There!

Sweet Baby James,

Hey there little guy! Your auntie Ashley was requesting some new pics to see how you're growing so this weekend we went out and took a few. That's you in that bump!

We also played some music for you with headphones on my tummy. Well, okay, actually I put the earbuds in my belly-button. When we get serious about your musical education we'll bust out Dad's noise-cancelling Bose headphones. But this worked in a pinch! You kicked around and seemed to like it! Here was your first playlist:

Umbrellas -- Sleeping at Last

Needle & Thread -- Sleeping at Last

Awake My Soul -- Mumford & Sons

Timshel -- Mumford & Sons

Come Thou Fount -- Sufjan Stevens

Indescribable -- Chris Tomlin

How He Loves -- David Crowder Band

Soon we will be starting childbirth classes to learn about how to get you from in there to out here. Yikes!

Love, Momma

Wishful Thinking, Part II

A couple days ago I was daydreaming of sunshine and sandy beaches. That still stands, but today my wishful thinking is for this:

Or any of the other wonderful medicines I took for granted as a non-pregnant person. But specifically something that soothes my nasty cold symptoms/knocks me out all night. You know what you can have, as a pregnant lady, if you're erring on the side of caution? Tylenol. And that's about it. WEAK SAUCE.

I did take a Tylenol PM last night. Just one, because I was paranoid to take the whole dose. That helped. Until I woke up wide awake with a burning throat at 3:30 am. And I say again, WEAK SAUCE.

I drank the orange juice. I drank the water. I washed my hands. I even braved the NetiPot. And the germs laughed in my face. And then punched me in the throat. And then took away my cold medicine.

To add (adorable) insult to injury, Sweet Baby James seems to like it when I cough. He responds with enthusiastic flipping and kicking. At least one of us is having a good time with this.

Wishful Thinking

I love snow. Really, I do. If it has to be winter, I'd rather the season be filled with fluffy white snow than day after endless day of gray bleakness. So I'm really okay that we had snow again here in Nashville last night.

However.

I'm not going to lie.

Today I'm really wishing for this:

Or this:

Or, really, I'm not picky. I'd settle for this:

I just need a little summer injected into my snow days.

22 Weeks

Hello, my Sweet Baby James!

22 weeks! You are still growing like a weed in there. Now you weigh over a pound. 22 weeks doesn't really sound like that far, except when I consider that now there are only 18 weeks left to go. Yikes! That's like 4 months! Yikes!

I really like it when you kick around inside me, reminding me that you're in there. I usually take it as a sign that you like whatever I've recently eaten, since that is when you move the most. Or maybe you just like food, period. That's my boy. :) The other day Ben felt it for the first time. Hi-yah, Daddy!

We are trying to think of a name for you out here. We have a few ideas but can't seem to settle on one. I feel like maybe we'll come down to two and then pick when we see you for the first time. But if you have any opinions about what you'd like to be called, please make them known!

I love you more every day!

Love,

Momma

Talkin' 'Bout My Generation

This afternoon Ben, Heather, and I went to go see The Social Network, finally. Bonus of waiting so long: we got to see it at the dollar theater here near the house. Technically the tickets were $1.50 each and popcorn was just as much as ever but I cannot stress how awesome it was to see a movie in the theater (albeit a kinda ghetto one) and not have shelled out an arm, a leg, and my soon-to-be firstborn son to get into the joint. We even snuck in our own Icees! Yay for big purses.

This movie certainly gave me a lot to think about. It was strange to see a movie made, based on the life of a real, still-living person, without that person's consent or input. (In this case, the real person being Facebook creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg.) In a way, this is what happens when movies are made about historical figures, but those people are already dead and wherever they've ended up I'm guessing their earthly reputation is no longer of any concern. Their living friends and families may have a bone to pick with how their dearly departed was portrayed, but even then this is assuming there are enough of those people around to care. But I was sitting there trying to imagine how it would feel to know there was a movie out there, portraying me as a certain kind of character, and I didn't get to have a say or give my approval. Then again, I've never done anything quite so monumental and so publicly defining as inventing Facebook.

I was really kind of baffled to be reminded that these events took place as Mark and his cohorts were in the same exact life-stage as me. These people are my contemporaries. In 2004, Mark created Facebook while a sophomore at Harvard. In 2004, I was a junior at Belmont. I can remember walking across campus one day and fielding a cell-phone call from my friend Cara who was a student at Mizzou. After chit-chatting for a bit, she asked me, "Does Belmont have Facebook yet?" And after explaining to me what it was (which I was fairly befuddled by), telling me, "You've got to petition your school to get it too!" Which is so weird because it is exactly that social, friend-to-friend-like-wildfire spread which is documented in the film. I was a part of that. It took Belmont a little while to get Facebook and I don't think I joined right away (still not understanding its purpose), but the sentiment remains. The advent of this social media which is now a part of our everyday life was something experienced first-hand by our generation.

Which led me to the following thought. Do you think our generation (without getting too technical, I guess I mean people in their late 20s/early 30s) will be the one which sees the most technological advancement ever, in our lifetimes? I mean, from the span of our births till our deaths, in comparison to the lifespan of our parents, our children, and so on? We are the last generation born before the Internet. Most of our younger siblings can't even say that. When I was born, there weren't cell phones, DVDs, or even CDs, let alone mp3 players. Not only was there not any Internet, but heck, the computer as an item available to purchase and use in one's home was still essentially a novelty. I'm not tech-savvy enough to know what else was and wasn't available at the time, but it seems to me we have come so far just in the 27 years since I was born. I feel like the technology my generation has seen become obsolete (or is seeing become obsolete) is piling up just as quickly. Of course, my parents have seen all the technology I've just described come and go as well, but when I think of where we might be by the time another 60 years rolls around, I wonder if on the whole I'll have seen more change in my overall years than they did in theirs.

This isn't even dipping a toe in the "is all this technological advancement good, or bad, or both" waters. Although I'm inclined to think it is both.

I wasn't kidding when I said this movie gave me a lot to think about! What do you think, fellow members of my generation? Were we born at just the time to be living in an era of technology advancing at never-to-be-rivaled speeds?

Till We Have Faces

The complaint was the answer. To have heard myself making it was to be answered. Lightly men talk of saying what they mean. "Child, to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that's the whole art and joy of words." A glib saying. When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years, which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you'll not talk about the joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?

-from Till We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis

Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

“Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me."

Then Job answered the LORD:

“I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more.”

Job 38:1-3, 40:3-5

Golden Globes Fashion, Y'all!

The Golden Globes were Sunday night and thankfully this year there was lots and lots to look at on the red carpet! Trends seemed to be colors (lots of pink/red, lots of green) and sparkles head-to-toe. This is fine by me because I just love shiny things and sequined goodness. One please-don't-let-this-be-a-trend was shoulder pads.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. TO THE DRESSES!!

BLACK AND BLUE

I really loved this dress worn by Melissa Leo. All-over black sequins could just be standard sexy, but with the square neckline and little cap sleeves it had a sweet element to it. I'd wear it, and really isn't that what this is all about?

Julia Stiles, we don't see you out much. This dress is maybe a little safe, but tasteful and elegant are never out-of-style. It flatters her figure and is just pretty.

Eva Longoria, also in basic black. Not that exciting, not that daring, but she looks good. And for someone so tiny, surprisingly tall. Something to be said for a dress that fits like a glove.

I don't understand the trend of having a fabric pouf bigger than your head sprouting out of your dress. Yet for some reason, I still like this on Amy Adams here. She looks gorgeous in jewel tones like this beautiful blue. I'm also grateful that the texture of the bodice doesn't continue down the rest of the dress, which would make it way too busy.

This is a great, punchy color, but I think maybe I wish Mandy Moore had her hair up? It seems to be competing with the one-shoulder netting. Or maybe I wish there was no netting?

Tina-na-na. On TV during the show, I kinda liked this. In the harsh light of day, I'm wondering, is this made of navy crushed velvet?! Surely not. But man it looks like it. And the fluttery sleeves, which I also liked on TV, are making her look a little broad. I'm torn. I'm not torn on her hair, which is very pretty, and her earrings, which are also very pretty.

SAD SACKS or DISHWATER IS NOT A COLOR

Milla Jovavich is/was a supermodel. Why this incredibly unflattering pageant gown?

Peeling, decrepit wallpaper never looked better, Julie Bowen. I mean worse. The word "molting" comes to mind.

I don't even... no. Leighton Meester is notorious for bad fashion, but usually it is at least entertaining. This dress is just making me depressed.

Oh Michelle. Drew Barrymore (circa 1993) called. She wants her dress back. Everyone expected you to bring it. We should perhaps have specified that the "it" in reference was one of awesome fashionable-ness. Not sad taupe daisy fluttery saggy "it."

PRETTIES (AND SOME NOT SO MUCH) IN PINK (AND RED) (ALSO PEACH/CORAL/ORANGE)

Sofia Vergara from the front: a nice enough dress, figure-hugging, good color.

Sofia Vergara from the side/back: WHYYYY are so many things happening right now? A train, possibly with a wrinkly bustle. A sash. And grommets? And is the the sash tying the grommet part on? There's a fine line between "interesting details" and "just tacking stuff on for no reason."

I keep going back and forth on this one. I love that Natalie Portman wore a maternity dress that actually showed her adorable bumpage, as opposed to sack dresses hiding it. I think she looks pretty in pink. But all-over pink satin with a big sappy red rose and matchy red shoes is... I don't know. You can't tell in this photo, but I also thought the front hem was a weird length. Maybe if the stem of the rose was longer and wrapped around or something? Maybe if the rose was smaller? Maybe if it was a different color?

Heather called it during our personal live-blogging (aka Gmail Chat) last night. Me: "What is up with Lea Michele? I just see flashes of peach and ruffles." Heather: "Peaches and Cream Barbie?" Upon further inspection, the answer to that was YES. With a dash of Prom, 1985.

Do you think the two leading ladies of Mad Men got together and both decided to wear fire-engine red? Do you think January Jones was like, "I'll wear this super-duper-sexy Jessica Rabbit fringed number where I show lots of skin but somehow still manage to look retro glam gorgeous? And you'll wear a red satin body stocking with a huge satin ruffleplosion right by your face that competes with your red hair, which you will wear really awful and frizzy?"

I guess so. Christina Hendricks, I would've hoped you'd put up a bigger fight about that.

I really liked this whole look from Claire Danes. A great color on her, and so simple and chic. Plus, I feel really really cool that I said to the TV, before they asked her who she was wearing, "That dress looks like Calvin Klein." And I was RIGHT. Fashion points to meeeee.

Kyra Sedgwick is 45 years old and homegirl looks GOOD. Her hair and jewelry are perfect, and this dress is flirty and fresh. It's a great, great color that no one else was wearing and few women could pull off. But mostly I wanted to post about her as a segue to my favorite commercial currently airing, featuring a "fan" obsessed with her husband Kevin Bacon:

We now return to our regularly scheduled fashion blogging.

WHICH PERSON NAMED JULIANNE/A LOOKED WORSE?

First up, we have Julianne Moore, in this crumpled hot-pink satin monstrosity that simultaneously makes her look like she has no waist AND no neck.

Not to be outdone, here we have Julianna Margulies in a black bandeau top with a pink sheet tied around her waist. She's gunning for the lead with ugly black shoes and completely undone hair and makeup. Which one will YOU choose?!

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, ALL OF YOU

Dear Scarlett Johansson, I do not think THIS should be the inspiration for a red-carpet look. Ever. I would have given you a passing grade for the dress if (A) it was a color and (B) it DID NOT HAVE SHOULDER PADS. SHOULDER PADS MAKE ME GO ALL-CAPS KANYE STYLE.

Uh-uh. No, Sandra. No ma'am. Not those heavy bangs (wig, please let it be a wig), not this sad droopy dress.

Halle Berry, this is baaaaaad. Real bad. Mariah-Carey-levels-of-age-inappropriateness-bad. You are almost 45 years old. Spanx bodysuit with a sheer waist-cape train? Put it away.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE! KILL HER! AVADA KEDAVRA! Seriously though, one of the most hated villainous witches of all time wouldn't be caught dead in this outfit. Think about that, Helena. You just think about that.

I don't even know, J. Lo. You're you, so somehow you are pulling this off? Even though "this" is a sheer bedazzled cape?

You guys, WHAT is going ON with Christina Aguilera? I'd cut a girl some slack when said girl is going through a divorce. But when said girl is the one who did the (alleged) cheating and breaking up and is already stepping out with the new boy-toy on your arm and is a celebrity armed with staffers whose only job is to make her healthy food and force her to work out or at the very least to dress her so she doesn't look like a bloated lace-encased mess? That's asking for more slack than I'm able to give at the present time.

GREEN GODDESSES

Angelina Jolie! Smiling! And wearing a vivid color! Plus sequins! This is another dress that I really loved were it not for the %&$#@@# SHOULDER PADS OH NO HERE COME THE CAPS AGAIN.

Elisabeth Moss, yes on the color. But I'm not sure about the overwrought bodice pleating, which is giving the illusion that it is too big across your stomach/hips and too tight across your thighs. Have I mentioned I love your earrings?

Another overworked bodice on Mila Kunis here. I appreciate the detail of the texture, but like Elisabeth, don't you think the waist/hip area is kind of weird looking? Good color, though.

From the distance/resolution of this picture, Catherine Zeta Jones's dress looks alarmingly like it is made of astroturf. I assure you that on TV it was nothing of the sort. She looked like straight-up "bow down before my glamour" royalty. Beautiful, regal, mysteriously un-aging. Loved it.

SEQUINS, SEQUINS EVERYWHERE!

Nicole, I love that you are going back to the red hair, though I think you could go redder. I think you look pretty in white/cream. I don't understand why you insist on wearing clothes with twee little bows and collars. Actually, I don't understand why a head-to-toe sequined dress even NEEDS an additionally sequined bow. Also, how come you never wear anything with volume? Always with the column dresses. We know, you are very slender and tall and regal. How about a little fun?

Anne Hathaway looks beautiful. Stunning gown, totally unique geometric sequins, backless and sexy. Full sleeves on a dress is so rare. Great color. THERE'S JUST ONE THING TWO THINGS. AND IT IS RUINING IT ALL. I THINK BY NOW YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

This is Amber Riley from Glee. She is wearing a fabulous, flattering, knock-out of a sparkly dress. I'm not sure what the belt is made of but I love seeing a non-twig out there on the carpet looking fierce. So bravo girl!

THIS IS FOR ALL THE MARBLES

Olivia Wilde. YES. I want this dress like yesterday. In case you can't tell in the picture, it is not black but a gorgeous, surprising chocolate brown. CHOCOLATE BALLGOWN WITH SPARKLES. I would wear this every day. To work. To the grocery store. To sleep in. Congratulations, Olivia, you win the best-dressed-according-to-me prize. The prize is that you have to give me that dress. I'll even pay for shipping.

If you stuck around this long, thanks for reading! Please leave your own thoughts and opinions in the comments section! I want to hear it!

Halfway There

Sweet Baby James,

This weekend marked the 20 week point of my pregnancy, which means I'm halfway done. Which means time is really flying. Which means I have a lot to do before you arrive!

The most exciting thing I have to report is that I felt you move for the first time in these past couple days. At first I wasn't so sure, but it felt just different enough from everything else to be distinguished as really and truly YOU. I don't really know how to describe it best, but it is sort of like someone is poking me from the inside out. Which I guess is exactly what it happening! You do it the most about half-an-hour after I eat, and I only feel it if I'm sitting or laying still.

This is pretty crazy stuff, but I love it. Soon enough you'll be so strong that I'm sure I'll be wishing you would just calm down in there, but for now I just sit here and soak it up.

Loving you from the outside in!

Momma

Just Like Daddy

Sweet Baby James,

This picture has made me more excited than anything for you to arrive. Can't wait till your little feet are here to fill your just-like-Daddy shoes.

Love,

Momma

I Love Technology!

You guys, I am writing and posting this blog WHILE SITTING IN BED. I know that doesn't sound that exciting, but as a first-time laptop owner I find it delightful.

Yes, that's right. It is 2011 and I am just now experiencing the joys of not being chained to a desk for my computer needs. I'm freeeeeeeee!

Ben got me this adorable used MacBook for Christmas. I had my first big lesson in it last night. He was very patient as I asked questions. Lots and lots of questions. I don't know how to do much yet, but I am excited to learn.

Little Boy Blue

Sweet Baby James,

Guess what? You're a he! Well, you knew that, but we didn't! Here's how our discovery of your gender went down.

The midwifes do the big 2nd trimester (I definitely wrote semester at first; you can take the girl out of college but...) ultrasound at 20 weeks, which I don't officially reach until this Saturday. Which will be January 8, which is obviously considerably past the time we got to spend at home at Christmas. So we had been waffling back and forth about going to a place where you can pay to have the 3d/4d ultrasound early. I wasn't particularly antsy to find out but I did think it would be neat to have the gender for a Christmas surprise to our families.

Then I read from a member of a band I follow on Facebook that he and his wife had gone, had the ultrasound, had them write down and seal up the gender, and then planned to open the envelope with their families on Christmas. Bingo! What an amazing idea! I promptly stole it.

So without telling anyone, we went when I was just shy of 17 weeks and did just this. The ultrasound technician hid you from us while he went looking for your boy-or-girl parts, and then after that was confirmed and he'd written it down and sealed it up, we got a look at the rest of you.

Baby of mine, I have got to say that seeing you kicking and squirming around on that screen was just about the craziest thing I've ever witnessed. It was fascinating on so many levels! If I laughed or gasped, when I moved, you moved. And you were kicking your legs and scooting all around and you kept putting your hands up by your face. It was really wild to know that you were so active in there but I can't feel it yet! How is that possible? I felt, in the best way, like some sort of alien host. Which, I guess, is applicable. But just to be clear, you are the most wonderful and welcome little alien that ever there was.

Then came the hard part - we could NOT open that envelope until over a week later on Christmas Day. It was burning a hole in my purse, to be sure. But somehow we made it! On Christmas, we gathered both our families for a "group photo" in front of the tree, and secretly instead of pushing the timer button Ben pushed record so we could get the reveal on video. I had put the envelope on the tree and so I got it down and explained what we had done, and that we were all going to find out together. So I opened the envelope and it said BOY!

I had been suspicious that you were a "he" and many other friends also thought so. I wasn't surprised but I was happy, if a little overwhelmed. I only had a sister so I felt like I had a handle on girl things, but I will get the hang of boys now! Your dad was especially excited, because now he can have a little guy to run around with. I think he is already planning your first camping trip. And I like the thought that any of our future kids will have a big brother. I know I always wanted one.

And just for added confirmation, we got to go to be 20 week ultrasound yesterday (even though I'm just 19 1/2) and to see you again! This time we definitely saw the "boy" confirmation! We also got a precious little profile picture of you, again with your hand by your face. You must like that. You were still squirming all around. They measured all your parts - head, arms, legs, heart, brain - and you are growing just great. They guessed you weigh about 11 ounces now. Almost three-quarters of a pound, my goodness!

The main thing we are going to keep an eye on is that my placenta - that's the good stuff in there with you that keeps you growing big and giving you oxygen and whatnot - is low-lying. This is fine now, but as you grow we need it to grow out of the way so that you can come out properly. I'll get another ultrasound in the 3rd trimester so we can make sure this happened. Another chance to see your sweet face!

Here are a few of your first pictures. Love you so much already! Love, Momma

An Epilogue to 25 Days of Advent: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Along with my mother, I had asked my other most faithful reader, Heather, to do a guest entry for the 25(ish) days of Advent series. I'm so glad she agreed, even if I'm a little late in getting around to posting it! Here are Heather's thoughts on a favorite Christmas song of hers, and I think they provide a wonderful wrap-up to the series.

******

One of my earliest memories is of me sitting on a tall stool in the choir room of our church in Tampa, legs dangling high above the floor. I was probably about 3 years old, and the choir director was trying to coax me into singing “Do You Hear What I Hear?” as a solo in our church Christmas pageant that year. I don’t think she ever succeeded in convincing me to do it (evidently, I was not too keen on singing in front of others even then), but love for this song abides in me to this day.

One of the more modern Christmas carols, DYHWIH was written by a married couple named Noel and Gloria (perfect Christmas song-writing names!) in 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The imminent threat of nuclear war during this time is said to have directly inspired the line “Pray for peace, people everywhere”. Both songwriters have stated that initially, neither of them could perform DYHWIH all the way through without crying. The song was made famous by Bing Crosby the following year when it was aired on a Bob Hope Christmas special, and has been covered by various artists ever since. With subtle mid-Eastern influences in the chord progression and orchestration, along with striking major/minor contrasts throughout, the music itself has a captivating quality rare among Christmas songs. And the lyrics do more than justice to the great music! Each little verse is a jewel of a poem about this holy night, yet the narrative is so simple a child can learn it:

Said the night wind to the little lamb,

“Do you see what I see?

Way up in the sky, little lamb,

Do you see what I see?

A star, a star dancing in the night

With a tail as big as a kite,

With a tail as big as a kite.”

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,

“Do you hear what I hear?

Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,

Do you hear what I hear?

A song, a song high above the trees

With a voice as big as the sea,

With a voice as big as the sea.”

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,

“Do you know what I know?

In your palace warm, mighty king,

Do you know what I know?

A Child, a Child shivers in the cold—

Let us bring Him silver and gold,

Let us bring Him silver and gold.”

Said the king to the people everywhere,

“Listen to what I say!

Pray for peace, people everywhere,

Listen to what I say!

The Child, the Child sleeping in the night,

He will bring us goodness and light.

He will bring us goodness and light!”

Verse 1. I love that the rest of God’s creation might have participated in the spreading of the good news. That the wind blew differently. That even the sheep over which the shepherds were abiding may have sensed something was different. That a star with a tail as big as a kite shone from outer space as a symbol of a promise realized. And that the star was dancing! It ties in beautifully with what David says in Psalm 96 (verses 11-13, NLT) about how the Earth will rejoice in Christ’s second coming:

“Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice!

Let the sea and everything in it shout His praise!

Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!

Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise before the Lord, for He is coming!”

All of creation must have been ringing with jubilation that night!

Verse 2. I love the description of the angels’ song as “ringing through the sky”. Like a bell that cannot be dampened, the news of the birth of God’s Son pealed forth from heavenly messengers. Their song was “as big as the sea”, covering the earth and soaking its inhabitants in the flood of the holy message.

Verse 3. Our Savior was not born into the warm palace he deserved, but instead “shivered in the cold”. He took one of the humblest forms we can imagine- the frail flesh of a newborn baby, a being utterly dependent on others for its very survival. And yet, strangely, it makes sense. Jesus entered into this world the same way every person since Adam and Eve had entered it, giving him a broad spectrum of human experiences- God with us, but in a form that was also 100% human.

Verse 4. “He will bring us goodness and light”- what a lovely thought! The miracle of Christmas brings goodness and light in abundance! The promises of the advent candles we light (peace, hope, joy, love) became flesh in that little baby. God’s plan was finally put into motion, signifying a true end of the power of evil in the world. This baby, Jesus Christ, will forever deliver us from the darkness we deserve, and bring us light. Amen!