Little Boy Blue

Sweet Baby James,

Guess what? You're a he! Well, you knew that, but we didn't! Here's how our discovery of your gender went down.

The midwifes do the big 2nd trimester (I definitely wrote semester at first; you can take the girl out of college but...) ultrasound at 20 weeks, which I don't officially reach until this Saturday. Which will be January 8, which is obviously considerably past the time we got to spend at home at Christmas. So we had been waffling back and forth about going to a place where you can pay to have the 3d/4d ultrasound early. I wasn't particularly antsy to find out but I did think it would be neat to have the gender for a Christmas surprise to our families.

Then I read from a member of a band I follow on Facebook that he and his wife had gone, had the ultrasound, had them write down and seal up the gender, and then planned to open the envelope with their families on Christmas. Bingo! What an amazing idea! I promptly stole it.

So without telling anyone, we went when I was just shy of 17 weeks and did just this. The ultrasound technician hid you from us while he went looking for your boy-or-girl parts, and then after that was confirmed and he'd written it down and sealed it up, we got a look at the rest of you.

Baby of mine, I have got to say that seeing you kicking and squirming around on that screen was just about the craziest thing I've ever witnessed. It was fascinating on so many levels! If I laughed or gasped, when I moved, you moved. And you were kicking your legs and scooting all around and you kept putting your hands up by your face. It was really wild to know that you were so active in there but I can't feel it yet! How is that possible? I felt, in the best way, like some sort of alien host. Which, I guess, is applicable. But just to be clear, you are the most wonderful and welcome little alien that ever there was.

Then came the hard part - we could NOT open that envelope until over a week later on Christmas Day. It was burning a hole in my purse, to be sure. But somehow we made it! On Christmas, we gathered both our families for a "group photo" in front of the tree, and secretly instead of pushing the timer button Ben pushed record so we could get the reveal on video. I had put the envelope on the tree and so I got it down and explained what we had done, and that we were all going to find out together. So I opened the envelope and it said BOY!

I had been suspicious that you were a "he" and many other friends also thought so. I wasn't surprised but I was happy, if a little overwhelmed. I only had a sister so I felt like I had a handle on girl things, but I will get the hang of boys now! Your dad was especially excited, because now he can have a little guy to run around with. I think he is already planning your first camping trip. And I like the thought that any of our future kids will have a big brother. I know I always wanted one.

And just for added confirmation, we got to go to be 20 week ultrasound yesterday (even though I'm just 19 1/2) and to see you again! This time we definitely saw the "boy" confirmation! We also got a precious little profile picture of you, again with your hand by your face. You must like that. You were still squirming all around. They measured all your parts - head, arms, legs, heart, brain - and you are growing just great. They guessed you weigh about 11 ounces now. Almost three-quarters of a pound, my goodness!

The main thing we are going to keep an eye on is that my placenta - that's the good stuff in there with you that keeps you growing big and giving you oxygen and whatnot - is low-lying. This is fine now, but as you grow we need it to grow out of the way so that you can come out properly. I'll get another ultrasound in the 3rd trimester so we can make sure this happened. Another chance to see your sweet face!

Here are a few of your first pictures. Love you so much already! Love, Momma