Wednesday, Brain Free Day!

Today I basically forgot how to be a functioning human being. I don't know if I was just tired or what but geeeeeeeez.

I could provide multiple examples, but we'll just cut to the most humiliating.

My place of work is right next to a Chick-fil-a. So naturally, I was eating there for lunch. I sat by myself in a sunny booth on the opposite side from the children's play place, planning on doing a little reading and enjoying my chicken sandwich. I had my own drink, a berry Vitamin Water that I'd been sipping on.

Oh, let's mention how I was wearing a cute new shirt too. That'll come into play momentarily.

So, I'm reading, and lunching, and enjoying myself. I go to give my Vitamin Water bottle a shake - just a habit I have before I take a drink.

Except I had already taken the lid off. And laid it on the table. So my vigorous drink shaking turned into a cold, abrupt shower. I mean, literally. And I don't like to misuse that word. But LITERALLY. I was drenched. Thank goodness I had a fat stack of napkins, which I immediately used up drying off my face - my FACE, people - and my arms, and my chest. My new shirt was soaked down the front, and my lap was conveniently spotted to look like I'd peed my pants. And of course I got it all over my book.

While I wiped myself down I looked around frantically to see if anyone was pointing and laughing, which they would've had every right to do. Thankfully, everyone seemed otherwise occupied, and I was able to grab my belongings and scurry to the bathroom to survey the damage further. I patted down as much as I could with some paper towels, then artfully held my bag so as to block the did-that-girl-pee-her-pants spot on my jeans and high-tailed it out of the restaurant. Shame bonus: As I speed-walked to the door, I saw some poor Chick-fil-a employee mopping up the floor by the booth where I had been sitting. THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. HE NEEDED A MOP.

Now, I don't know what happened to you today, but that has got to take the cake.