A Little Shaken Up

I usually like to keep this blog more upbeat, but every once in a while something happens that I just need to talk about... Today while I was driving to work I almost hit a man with my car, and it scared me horribly.

I was driving on a major road, and coming up to a large intersection (Nolensville and Old Hickory, for you Nashvillians). I moved to get into the right turn lane, which was wide open. The other two lanes in my direction were backed up waiting at the red light. I was zipping past them, totally within my boundaries, when from between two of the stopped cars darts a guy hustling across the street. He appeared and was almost instantly in my lane. I slammed on my brakes and screamed as my car screeched to a halt. This man literally had to jump out of my way and was so close my car must have brushed him; one step further and I would without a doubt have hit him, injured him, maybe even killed him.

I was shaking and crying so I pulled over after a few minutes to try and collect myself. I do NOT understand why someone would try to cross 6 lanes of traffic just a few yards from a busy intersection and not use the crosswalk! And he didn't even pause, didn't even look to see if there were cars coming down my lane. Even though if I had hit him I wouldn't have been at fault, realizing that I was so close to potentially seriously injuring or ending someone's life was terrifying. My mind was racing with the thought of what could have happened. What if I had glanced down to dig something out of my purse or change my CD? What is he had been jogging just a little faster? What if I had left my house 30 seconds earlier? What if what if what if...

But how good is our God, to place his hands in our lives, in the daily workings of our existence? To exist beyond and above our linear notions of time and our ideas about chance and fortitude. God is not playing a game of "what if." I believe that despite the seemingly incongruous ideas of His omniscience and our free will, God's plans are without flaw. I almost hit a man with my car today. Maybe I almost hit him so that the car behind me wouldn't actually hit him. Maybe I almost hit him so I'd be shaken up and more careful and deliberate about my driving habits. But I know there is a reason I didn't hit him, and at the same time a reason that I almost did. Thank you God, that today I didn't hit that man. I pray wherever he is that he is okay and that you have impressed upon his heart that it was more than just a chance occurance, just as you have revealed that to me.