DRIVING: IT'S JUST NOT THAT HARD

This will be the first in a series where I try to help people who seem to be bewildered and befuddled by the act of driving. Unfortunately, being a bad driver doesn't stop people from being ABLE to drive... sort of like being a bad parent.

If all this series of posts does is help me vent about the complete dolts whom I graciously share the road with each day, then that might be good enough.



Issue #1 - Turn Signals

With some skeptical exceptions, human beings are incapable of reading each other's minds. This can prove dangerous when operating a two-ton piece of machinery going 60 mph. You might be asking yourself, "How will someone know if I want to change lanes?" or "How will the person behind me know I'm not slowing down just to annoy them, but to turn?" Luckily, the makers of motor vehicles have, for the past several decades, installed in your car/truck/suv a special device designed to, in a way, convey your thoughts to other drivers. This magic tool is called the TURN SIGNAL.

The turn signal is a flashing yellow or red light that is located on both sides of your car's front and rear bumpers. By manipulating a lever near your steering wheel, you can illuminate either the right or left blinking lights. Inside your car you will hear a clicking sound to indicate that the lights are blinking appropriately. Once you have finished the act of turning or veering to the correct direction, flick the lever again and the blinking light will stop. This lets other drivers know you don't now intend to move in any other direction but forward.

Now I know you might be thinking to yourself right now, "But I KNOW where I am going... why do I need the turn signal again?" Please keep in mind, the turn signal is just that, a SIGNAL to other drivers. Short of rolling down your window and hollering about what your next move is, it is the best way to keep other drivers informed of your decision to fling your car into their lane.

So remember, I can't read your mind! If you use your signal, you are reducing your risk of me slamming on my brakes and screaming "What the ef are you doing you stupid moron" by at least 43%. And that is a good thing.

Thank you. The next entry in this series will cover MERGING, where I tell you how to increase your chances of me letting you over (hint: it involves your turn signal).