RIGHT-of-way

Okay, this one has been a long time coming, and this morning as I sat at a stoplight and experienced this yet again, I decided I couldn't wait any more. So, I present to you this, the third in my series of blogs about driving. This one is about that mysterious circumstance, that elusive phrase... RIGHT-OF-WAY.

If you are one of the typical drivers I encounter on any given day, you have no idea what this phrase means. Or maybe you always thought people were saying "right away" or "write a way" or something else nonsensical. But no, the phrase is "Right-of-way" and it means pretty much what it sounds like - "right" gets the "way." Now this is not a slam on all my left-handed friends and family out there (what up Dad, Heather, Tim), but just a way of the world. Well, most of the world. Maybe in England they say "left-of-way?"

Understanding right-of-way comes in handy in many situations, but let's just reveal how it will help in two different scenarios, shall we?

SCENARIO ONE: Two Cars Arrive at a 4-way Stop-Sign at the Same Time

You pull up to a stop sign at the same time as another car... who goes first? Is it whoever can get their foot on the gas quickest? Or is it the person whose car cost more? Will this quickly disintegrate into a series of waves and points and confused halting? What if you both just sit there forever?

Have no fear! Right-of-way handily explains how to proceed. The person to the RIGHT gets the WAY! They go first, followed by the next person clockwise from there and so on and so forth. Unless all four cars arrived at the identical same time, or unless it is two cars facing, both of in which case someone just starts and it should proceed from there, right-of-way prevails.


SCENARIO TWO: A Green Light with No Arrow for Both Someone Turning Right and an Opposing Driver Turning Left

I can not TELL you how many people don't get this one. Okay. If you are driving, and you come to a stoplight, and it is green, and you need to turn right, guess what? YOU get to go! You are going RIGHT so you get the WAY. If you stop and look around frantically, this only encourages the other people in this scenario, the left turners.

And now I'm speaking to you, person turning left on green with no arrow. YOU are turning left, and as I've made clear, the term is RIGHT of WAY. So you must wait until there are no opposing cars turning right, or until you get an arrow.


POP QUIZ! In the following picture, all three cars arrived at the stop sign at the same time. Who goes first?

The answer is.... the YELLOW car! Followed by... the GREY car! Followed by the blue car! Does it matter if the blue car man is impatient and wants to go first? NO, because he doesn't have the right of way!

Questions? Confusions? Concerns you might be a violator of these rules? Leave 'em in the comments. Don't worry, I'll let you know.

Oh no she didn't

This past Sunday, a lady honked at me because she didn't yield as she was turning onto the street where I was driving, and I had to swerve to keep from plowing into her. For reals!

Hey lady, wherever you are - if you are turning right at a light onto a street where the speed limit is 50 mph, you best be yielding or you will get a face full of my Toyota Highlander! Especially if the lane you are turning into is ending and those cars will be busy merging. It is not my job to drive for you, no matter how loud you honk! Now pipe down and review the rules of merging in my handy-dandy blog from a few weeks ago.

Also, apologies to my own gender, but even though I didn't see for sure that it was a woman, I'd bet money on it. Men do a lot of ignorant things while driving, to be sure, but the sense of entitlement with which this driver pulled into traffic and the indignant staccato of the honking which followed definitely had a female air about it.

The rest of my weekend was great!

This is the second entry in my series entitled "Driving: It's Just Not That Hard." Today I will be covering the very challenging topic of MERGING.

Merging generally refers to a situation in which one lane of the road is ending, forcing cars in that lane to get over into another lane which is still open:

As you can see in the above diagram, an accident will happen unless one of these vehicles moves. Every day on my way to work I watch as morons... er, I mean "driving-challenged" people float from the on-ramp into traffic with nary a glance as to the cars forced to jerk violently out of their way to avoid being sideswiped.

Please read this carefully: THE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY OF MERGING SAFELY RESTS UPON THE MERGER, NOT THE OTHER CARS! It is your job to take the initiative to use your blinker, to slow down or speed up depending on the other vehicles around you, etc. It is NOT enough to doodle your way into traffic, expecting that other cars will part like the Red Sea in order to make room for you. It is also NOT acceptable to merely follow the right-hand white line as it guides you merrily into another lane.

Is it nice if other cars let you over? Yes. Should they make every effort to give merging traffic room to merge? Absolutely. Is it your God-given right to plow into their lane simply because you waited too long and ran out of room? HECK-to-the-NO.

All this talk brings me to another point involving merging, and pardon me if I seem fussy but this one is just completely dumb and dangerous to boot. When you are nearing a construction area and you see one of those ENORMOUS FLASHING SIGNS that says "RIGHT LANE ENDS 500 feet" here's an idea: get over NOW! Nothing makes me wish I was allowed to ram other cars off the road than when a blithering idiot comes barrelling down the ending lane attempting to swoop in and merge at the last possible second. I will never, ever, ever, ever, EVER let you over. If I see you coming in my rear-view mirror, I will in fact drift over to take up both lanes thus preventing you from going any further.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." This is a beautiful verse about God's creation is enough to make humans understand and see that God exists.

I feel similarly about merging. "For since the construction workers and road designers put up signs - bright yellow and orange and sometimes flashing - and these can be seen by your own eyes and comprehended by your brain to mean that you must take some kind of action about merging, you are without excuse in taking said action as quickly and safely as possible.

The only thing someone who is a bad driver could possibly say is that "they didn't see _____" or "they didn't notice ______." There is a fancy phrase for that called "not paying attention," and from what I understand it doesn't hold up so well under a court of law.

DRIVING: IT'S JUST NOT THAT HARD

This will be the first in a series where I try to help people who seem to be bewildered and befuddled by the act of driving. Unfortunately, being a bad driver doesn't stop people from being ABLE to drive... sort of like being a bad parent.

If all this series of posts does is help me vent about the complete dolts whom I graciously share the road with each day, then that might be good enough.



Issue #1 - Turn Signals

With some skeptical exceptions, human beings are incapable of reading each other's minds. This can prove dangerous when operating a two-ton piece of machinery going 60 mph. You might be asking yourself, "How will someone know if I want to change lanes?" or "How will the person behind me know I'm not slowing down just to annoy them, but to turn?" Luckily, the makers of motor vehicles have, for the past several decades, installed in your car/truck/suv a special device designed to, in a way, convey your thoughts to other drivers. This magic tool is called the TURN SIGNAL.

The turn signal is a flashing yellow or red light that is located on both sides of your car's front and rear bumpers. By manipulating a lever near your steering wheel, you can illuminate either the right or left blinking lights. Inside your car you will hear a clicking sound to indicate that the lights are blinking appropriately. Once you have finished the act of turning or veering to the correct direction, flick the lever again and the blinking light will stop. This lets other drivers know you don't now intend to move in any other direction but forward.

Now I know you might be thinking to yourself right now, "But I KNOW where I am going... why do I need the turn signal again?" Please keep in mind, the turn signal is just that, a SIGNAL to other drivers. Short of rolling down your window and hollering about what your next move is, it is the best way to keep other drivers informed of your decision to fling your car into their lane.

So remember, I can't read your mind! If you use your signal, you are reducing your risk of me slamming on my brakes and screaming "What the ef are you doing you stupid moron" by at least 43%. And that is a good thing.

Thank you. The next entry in this series will cover MERGING, where I tell you how to increase your chances of me letting you over (hint: it involves your turn signal).