35 Weeks!

Sweet Baby James,

Hey my little love! Just want to get everyone updated about the last two weeks with you.

Since I'm kind of using my blog as a pregnancy journal too, this might not be that interesting to everyone but if I don't write it down I'll forget!

So we went back one week ago (seems like forever) to have another follow-up ultrasound. My amniotic fluid levels had not increased (boo), but they held steady at 6, so that was still a positive outcome. And of course you were looking great, as always! Getting bigger - they guessed your weight at a little over 5 pounds - and measuring up just perfectly in the 50th percentile of babies your same gestational age. While we of course think you are far above average in every other way, just regular old "average" is a good place to be for your size! :) We also got this amazing picture of your face. You finally mostly moved your hands out of the way so the ultrasound tech could snap this shot.

Look at your precious nose! And your little mouth! I just want to look at this picture all day. It is the first time of any of the images we've had of you that I thought maybe you could look like me a little. Since your little face will probably be smushed and swollen when you come out, it is nice to see this and know what you might look like once all that evens back out. Did I mention I love your nose? I can't wait to kiss it.

The other times we had ultrasounds, my midwife Lauren had called us later that afternoon to discuss and plan our next step. When I didn't hear from her, I got it in my head that everything was fine and I should just go to my regular check-up on Monday as scheduled. That appointment was with a different midwife, as I'm trying to meet several of them since any one of them could be on-call for your delivery day. When I showed up for the appointment, there was some confusion. This midwife let me know that at the ultrasound, the technician thought she might have noticed a little arrhythmia/murmur in your heartbeat. I'm sure my face looked stricken! I had no idea! They explained that I would have appointments made to get you a fetal echocardiogram (fancy ultrasound to look specifically at your heart) and to see the Maternal Fetal Health specialist at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. I was trying to absorb all this info and not start freaking out.

To check on you, they hooked me up to the electronic fetal monitor (EFM). These are two bands that strap around my belly. One sensor reads your heart rate and the other measures contractions (which I'm not really having yet). I had to lay still on my back for about 20 minutes. NOT FUN. You didn't like it any more than I did, and you kept kicking at the spot where the sensor was, making the machine think you had no heart beat. They finally got it squared away where it was bothering you less. After 20 minutes, the midwife came back in and said you looked great - strong, healthy heart rate. She only saw one or two little blips where it might have indicated the same thing the ultrasound tech thought she saw. After that I got to leave.

As it turns out, Lauren had been on-call over the weekend and hadn't had time to come up with a plan and discuss it with me yet. She didn't realize I'd be in the office Monday getting the news from a stranger. She felt terrible, to say the least, and called me to apologize. She helped comfort me by saying that these things can come and go without cause or warning in babies of your same fetal age as the heart completes the final stages of development. I was still a little freaked out, but I asked everyone to pray for you and that I would have trust in God no matter what happened.

So the next day, I went in to the Children's Hospital for your fetal echocardiogram. Ben was able to come with me. This ultrasound took a while for several reasons. First, they were doing all the measurements like any other ultrasound. Second, they had to do lots of very specific looking at your heart. And finally, you were being SUPER stubborn. I guess you'd had it with the ultrasounds (believe me, so have I), and you didn't want to give away anything. They really had to work but they finally got to see everything they needed. The ultrasound tech AND the pediatric cardiologist both looked for a clear shot of your aorta for probably 20 minutes before finally giving up. Don't worry, they assured me you have one and that it is functioning just fine. :) In fact, we got the wonderful, blessed news that your little ticker is totally perfect! These specialists saw no evidence of an arrhythmia or defect. Praise God!!!

The next day (Wednesday), I still went to the other appointment with Maternal Fetal Health. Even though the heart thing appeared to be a non-issue, Lauren still wanted their opinion on the amniotic fluid situation. Ben wasn't able to go with me since it was in the middle of the day and he was working. That was kind of a bummer, but it was probably a good thing he didn't try to take time off because I waited around FOREVER. My appointment was at 2pm. I got there at 1:45pm as requested. By 3:30pm I had signed some paperwork and gotten my vitals taken. The rest of the time was spent in the waiting room. Thank goodness I had a book!! When they finally called me, guess what I got to do? Have another ultrasound! If you and I weren't over having these before, we sure were as of now. If anyone is counting, this was my third ultrasound in six days. You weren't feeling any more generous today, but they got all the measurements they needed after a while. As with every time, you looked perfectly fine. Happy as a clam in there! They noticed no arrhythmia either. Yay! However (why does it always seem like there's a "however"), they measured the amniotic fluid back down at 5. After my ultrasound, the Maternal Fetal Health doctor, Dr. Bennett, came in for about two minutes. I hate how it always seems like they're in a hurry, which is one thing I never think with the midwives. Anyway, she had this whole script of recommended tests that I would need to do twice weekly. She made me kind of upset when she said, "Our goal would be to get you to 37 weeks." I felt like saying back, "Well MY goal is to have this baby when he is ready to come out." I didn't say that. But I did feel comfortable telling her I wanted to wait and see what Lauren had to say, before we started making appointments for these tests.

Since I didn't leave that office until almost 5pm (seriously, for my 2pm appt), I didn't get to talk to Lauren until yesterday. She (once again) helped calm me down and encouraged me. She had received the ultrasound reports but hadn't gotten Dr. Bennett's recommendations yet, so she promised to call me as soon as she had those and we could talk about it more. I tried to explain that I didn't want to under-react, but that I also didn't want to jump the gun, and that I really really really wanted to avoid an early induction. She said I shouldn't worry, that I hadn't done anything wrong in taking care of you, and that I was a good momma already. That made me cry more than I already was! She said she would pray for me and let me know when she heard back from the other doctor, and then we could decide together what to do.

So that's where we are now, my little peanut. I'm trying to drink even MORE water, if that is possible, and still taking it easy. I'm paying very close attention to how much you are moving around, and so far you still seem to be doing just great in there! I feel that God is protecting you, and that you'll come out according to HIS plan, even if it isn't the way I thought it would be. And really, so long as I'm kissing that sweet nose and looking at your darling face, I don't think I'll be too concerned with anything else.

Can't believe we've come this far together. Love you more every day.

Love,

Momma