Monday, March 08, 2010

Oscars 2010 Fashion Round-Up

Hi everyone! Did you all watch the Oscars last night? Thoughts? I thought the show seemed a little stale at times, although there were some enjoyable moments. There are some more movies I need to add to my to-watch list, at the very least.

And of course, there was fashion! I don't know if I was just not feeling it, but I felt like as a whole the ladies didn't BRING IT. Lots of pretty but uninteresting dresses, lots of gold and sparkles. There are a handful of dresses that stand out in my memory but as a whole I was a little underwhelmed. Another contributing factor to my "meh"ness may be that there were several dresses about which I just couldn't make up my mind. Let's start with those first, in a category I like to call:

I like it! Wait, no, ugh, not up close. Well, okay, in this picture, maybe. I don't know... yes. Or not.


J-Lo's dress was a LOT of dress, and one of those where I think just one less element might have helped. This dress has an interesting fabric AND an interesting sculpted neckline AND an interesting (and voluminous) hip poof AND that's a lot for me to be interested in all at once. While I really love the subtlety of having a textured fabric, in this case I wonder if it might have been a little less complicated with a simpler, smoother fabric. So, to conclude, I don't know. I'm leaning towards yes. Also I like her hairdo, which looks kinda messy in this picture but was very lovely in person. Of course, by "in person" I mean on TV. Which is as "in person" to J-Lo as I'll ever be.



I quite like Maggie Gyllenhaal. In other news, I spelled that right on the first try without consulting Google. Anyway, I like her. Mmmmmbut I don't know about this. I like the shape of it, mostly, although this silhouette is rapidly becoming her M.O. I am waffling on the print. It's just so close to... tropical. Like that skirt could be repurposed after this event as a sarong-style bathing suit cover up. Couldn't it?

Sandra "Sandy" Bullock looked very pretty. I liked her smooth and shiny hair. On TV, I also liked this dress. But as I experience it the day after, I find myself kind of uninterested. The sequins of the skirt are so tiny that it almost looks as if the fabric is lamé. And my friends, there is a big, classy difference between sequined and lamé.

Aren't you bored already? Me too. Let's move on to the fun part.


Oh this is not good.


This dress worn by SJP is seriously fugly. A yellow sack with a chestplate and other accents that appear to have been sculpted from duct tape, all held up by a really weird neck strap? Did I cover everything? No? Oh yes. And a gigaaaaantic bun last seen on the business end of a showhorse.



Zoe Saldana looks stunning from the ribcage up. Unfortunately, from the ribcage down she's being slowly and quietly consumed by a gigantic drag-queen's eyelid. Seriously, look again. The black layer is the long feathery eyelashes.


Charlize Theron's mauve bridesmaid's dress is moving forward with a lawsuit, pressing charges of sexual harrassment against a different purple bridesmaid's dress. The first dress claims the second snuck up from behind and grabbed her, making us all feel uncomfortable. I don't think "rose boobs" is the first and last thing you want people to think when they see your Oscars dress. But, what do I know. I'm not an actress.


Here's what I think happened. Diane Kruger woke up on Oscar morning realizing, "No one will want to take my picture tonight since Pacey, I mean my boyfriend Joshua Jackson, won't be able to hit the red carpet with me. I have to think of some way to stand out. Desperate times call for desperate measures." That's what I imagine happened. Because what I CAN'T imagine is that a smart girl like Diane (and you know she's smart locking down the most adorable and (who would've imagined it) most successful of the D. Creek alumni) tried on this crazy Big Bird Couture number and thought it looked good. Because it doesn't. And of course her face still looks flawless, but you can't just scrape by with that, Diane, because it isn't fair. Prancing around in ugly dresses and knowing you still manage to look hot is just salt in the wound for the rest of us. And now I've gotten all flustered and we have to move on.


I see your effort and quietly compliment you.


I think this was a real improvement for Anna Kendrick over her ruffled Golden Globes dress. Because she's a brunette, the look avoids the dreaded hair/skin/dress unicolor trifecta that unfairly plagues blondes. Poor little blondes. Anyway, this dress is very soft and very romantic and very sweet. I think the fit is flawless, making her look tiny but still womanly. While I'm not in love with the lace edging the leg slit and I can't tell for sure but the shoes might be unattractive, as a whole I think job well done for Ms. Kendrick's first Oscars.



I think grey can be such a flattering color on pale blondes, and Elizabeth Banks is showcasing that effect in this elaborate dress. This style of dress I think is, for the next decade at least, always going to invite comparison to THE Penelope Cruz dress of 2007, no matter what color it is. I do like Elizabeth's version, though, even if the dress is a little bit wearing her as opposed to the other way around. I like the way the pleating of the bodice becomes the loose waves of the skirt.



I don't really have a personal opinion on the person of Miley Cyrus, although I know many people do and that may automatically prevent them from liking this look. Which I totally understand. However, if you'll just put your thumb over her face, I think you might find that this is quite a nice and still mostly age-appropriate dress for a 17-year-old. Sure, the bodice could be a hair less tight and yes, I certainly wish she'd stand up straight. But overall, a classy but still fun look for her.

And without further ado, my favorites from the night!

Yes! Also, call me, let's be friends!



Cameron Diaz has had a wide range of looks on the red carpet, often trending toward something high-fashion, but while trying to also keep her sunny, surfer-girl look. I think mostly she hasn't been that successful. Which is why when I saw her appear on my TV last night, I was really impressed. This dress isn't reinventing the wheel by any means, but along with her hair and makeup it might be the best I've seen her look. I love everything about the dress - color, shape, fit, and the beautiful distribution of beading that is creating such texture. Her hair looks both washed AND combed, and finally her pension for candy-red lipstick is working in her favor. She still looks like herself, but extra awesome. Very nice.


Queen Latifah is consistently looking awesome every time she shows up at one of these things. I love her confidence and how crazy beautiful she is just being herself. The color of this dress is delicious and I love the bejeweled strap which continues across her back. If I ever had to attend one of these formal affairs I'd want to wear exactly this. Big girls of the world take note - Queen Latifah is getting. it. done.



And finally, my favorite of the night. I'll go ahead and admit, I like Rachel McAdams so much she could show up in... well, Diane Kruger's dress, and I'd probably be trying to find some way to compliment it. However, my personal bias aside, I really think this dress is awesome. I liked it when I just thought it was a blue/tan ombre, but against all odds I like it even MORE now seeing it is actual an oversized floral print. That could be a recipe for weird and tacky but instead it is soft and unique. The overall effect is of a watercolor painting, very fluid and romantic. I love it!

That's all for this year! Awards season is over, so now back to my other favorite thing to blog about: pictures of baked goods. Bye!

7 comments:

Heather said...

You know the fabric from Rachel McAdams' dress? I figured out what it's from! I'm 90% sure it was made of either throw-pillows or drapes from the set of the "Golden Girls". :)

Jennifer Womble said...

Always a fun read! Tho I can't believe you didn't love Sandra Bullock more?? She was one of my favs!

Anonymous said...

haha! Love your descriptions! I also loved Miley's (if she would freaking stand straight, she could have rocked it) and Rachel's! I thought Sandra's dress matched her statue which was kinda fun and I also, surprisingly really liked Maggie's! I heart your fabulous taste! :)
Angilee

Laura DeHaan Haske said...

All Monday I waited for this post . . . now it's over too soon. This is one award show I actually watch, so I was excited to compare notes, knowing in advance that yours would be funnier. Have you ever thought of applying for a writing/reporting job with a celebrity media outlet? You'd be great. I loved the Round-Up and all your picks, except for Miley. The bust area looked on the edge of sliding down. I worried for her when she was presenting, but maybe that explains the slouch. She had to make sure the girls stayed in place!

Kali said...

Awesome, as always. You know, if Ben ever decides to move to Hollywood with his film career, I think you'd have a career waiting for you as well! You could stalk celebrities with your awesome photography skills, and then critique their fashion sense :)

lila kate said...

Okay, first and foremost, a confession. I was at work Sunday night during the Oscars and after they were over I obsessively checked your blog for this very post (a no-no at work!) This is how much I love your fashion round ups.
a) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MILEY, STAND UP STRAIGHT!!! Do I sound like a broken record of my mother? Yes. Does it make it any less true? Negative. She's not going to get anywhere if she slouches through life! I LOVE that dress but Miley i'm going to slap you in the face if you and your tacky-ass mother don't get some fucking posture!! Whew...pant, pant....

b) As many points as Queen L scores for big girls everywhere (let's say 20 points) the girl who play Precious in Precious takes all those points away and then some. She. Looked. Awful. Sorry, girl, I know it's hard to look glamourous when you're up around 300lbs and surrounded by skinny bitches, but please, girl, try harder.

c) I LOVED SJP's dress!! That is, until I saw the Christmas ornament trying to crawl up her butt. Why, SJP, WHY?! You do this to me everytime! I love you and the giant bun works for you, but just take it down a notch and we will still notice you and love you!

d) Zoe S looked like she got into a scuffle with a loofa and lost. Never have I hated a dress more. It's an insult to the Oscars to wear that clown wig of a dress. I'm disgusted.

e) what is with gold dresses? If they're not tacky, they're totally forgettable! Sandra B, you should have gone for a deep dark plum or raspberry. Gold washed you out completely. But nice hair.

f) I can't even look at Charlize without thinking "Boooooooooobs." Why didn't someone say something?!

g) Oh Elizabeth Banks that color is HEAVEN on you! The grey-blue is so lovely you should wear NOTHING else!

h)Dear Rachel McAdams, I am positive we would be best friends if you met me. xoxo, Lila

i) J Lo, what can I say? It looks like a bad Wedding Dress Challenge from Project Runway. You look terrible. And why are you at the Oscars anyway?

j) Cam Diz, (may I call you Cam?) I want to slap that simpering smile off your face. You are a bad actress and do not deserve to do anything but scamper around in your underwear and make other girls jealous.

k) i love you Amy! Thanks for another great round up!! xoxo

lila kate said...

Also, under your SJP comments, Amy, for a really long time I thought you wrote "business end of a SEAHORSE" and I tried for a really long time to figure out what the hell you were talking about.... Then I saw you wrote "SHOWHORSE" - totally different. I'm an idiot.