Hiking Fox Glacier (Or, The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done)

For the purposes of this story, it doesn't matter what you do or don't believe about climate change and global warming: whatever the reasons, glaciers around the world are receding. These ancient remnants of the planet's last Ice Age are tucked away in the steep valleys of mountain chains or stretching in ice sheets of the polar seas.

In New Zealand, the really cool thing is that the proximity of the Southern Alps mountains to the country's western coast means that a few of its remaining glaciers are no more than 15 miles offshore, and are only 250-300 meters above sea level. This makes them quite possibly the most accessible glaciers in the world... Which means that people who aren't skilled mountain climbers and hikers can visit them. Good thing I fit that bill!

There are two main glaciers in the area that are toured by visitors. Franz Josef Glacier and Fox Glacier are snuggled right along the northwestern side of New Zealand's tallest mountains, descending from those peaks and ending amidst temperate rainforest. That's another unique feature of these glaciers, and it means that visitors are comfortable hiking to the glaciers in shorts and t-shirts.

Which is a good thing, because you're going to get warm hiking to Fox Glacier. Why, you might ask? Well, friends, that's because you're going to have to hike up 800 stairs. EIGHT. HUNDRED. STAIRS.

Quick, stair comparison stats! The Empire State Building has 1576 stairs. So, you know, I did the equivalent of half the climb of arguably the world's most famous flight of stairs.

I believe my previous stair accomplishment was climbing the 320 steps up to the cupola of St. Peter's Basilica in Rome. I didn't remember this number before I started the Fox Glacier hike. So when I heard "800 steps" I assumed, true to my complete lack of spacial awareness, that it probably wasn't that much different than St. Peter's. And hey, at least walking the stairs to the glacier wouldn't be like a claustrophobic fun house:

Climbing to the St. Peter's Cupola

Besides, here was the fitness/activity level information suggested by the brochure: Moderate fitness and agility is required. Involves steady, well-graded uphill walking for 45 minutes.

Now I'll be the first to admit I'm not in great shape. I don't do a lot of exercising. I could stand to lose some poundage. But still, to my ears, "moderate fitness" means, okay, I don't weigh 300 pounds, I'm not a grandma. (Though as it turned out there was a grandma on our hike and she was in way better shape than me.) But I'm 26. I'm young. I'm on the vacation of my life, and I'm certainly not going to let a little "uphill walking" stop me from the experience of climbing on a glacier. Sign me up! 800 stairs, what is that, like... well, whatever I can do it.

Off we go!


Start of the hike, and hey, we're actually going downhill. Thumbs up for that.


I didn't get many pictures while I was on the stairs, because I was more concerned with not dying/passing out/crying/being laughed at by fit Europeans, but here's one we snapped from nearer to the top.


And one of our awesome guide Cole looking, well, awesome.


There's one section that involves creeping around the edge of a bluff, at which point we were sternly instructed to put our cameras away because it was too dangerous. I did some Google Image searching and found this one that someone took despite the warnings:


Do you see that chain the guy is holding? You have to hold that while you climb the rocks because if you let go and you fall you're going over 100 meters straight down. To your death.

There were times I thought I was not going to make it. I was reciting scripture in my head about the weary renewing their strength and soaring like eagles! And Ben didn't let me give up and somehow by the grace of God I did it! It wasn't fun. But it was rewarding.

This is the face of someone who WORKED for it!

And our reward was walking on a glacier, which has got to go down as one of the ultimate experiences of my life.

Crampons, which are metal spikes you strap to your boots for ice-walking.

Looking down a moulin in the glacier surface where water trickles down to the river some 150 meters below.

So the moral of the story is... for about $100 more a person you can take a scenic helicopter ride and get dropped off on the top of the glacier and then hike around it and there are no stairs involved. I'm just saying.