The Bible: Good for Your Heart

A lot has been going on around me lately - sad and confusing and frustrating and heart-wrenching stuff that has me simultaneously feeling numb, feeling like crying, and feeling like screaming. Knowing God is in control makes the hurt meaningful, but it doesn't seem to make it hurt any less. One thing I hope is that it drives me back again and again to His words. Two days ago, I said that my heart hurt; I felt like my heart was breaking. Today it seemed like everything on the open page of my Bible was there just for me, to bind up my hurts and give my heart comfort... some excerpts:

From Psalm 27
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
Be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.


From Psalm 28
Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.


From Psalm 30
I will exalt you, O Lord,
For you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord, my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

You turned my wailing into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
That my heart may sing to you and not be silent.


From Psalm 31
Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.
Love the Lord, all his saints!
The Lord preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full.
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

In Need of a Good Pruning

I know that title sounds kinda kinky, but hear me out...

Today I pruned back two bushes in our backyard. These are butterfly bushes, and we just recently discovered that at the beginning of every spring we're supposed to cut them back almost to the ground. We had never done that before, just assumed that they were supposed to be sort of wildly unkempt and overgrown. But no, that is not the case. So today I went after them, with a giant pair of pruning-gardening-thingies... did I mention our complete and utter lack of gardening knowledge?

I stood outside surveying the task at hand and wondering where to begin. I could hardly even get close to where I needed to cut because of the explosion of branches. Pushing a few aside, I maneuvered the cutters around a branch probably an inch thick, and laid into it, squeezing with all my might until with a satisfying SNAP the branch broke. So I did it again. And again. It felt... good! Good to hack away all the excess, even though if plants had feelings I'm sure it would've hurt like hell. And it got me thinking, "Man, I totally need to be pruned by God." Cutting away all this garbage that I think is pretty when in reality all it is doing is keeping me from growing properly. Being pared down, even though it hurts and it would be easier just to keep expanding out-of-control. Not leaving one single branch untrimmed out of wishful thinking or selfishness, but surrendering every piece to be stripped of the unnecessary. Left exposed so that the rain and sun can reach the roots and make me strong and so that none of the old dead crap can get in the way of new growth.

So I kept cutting and cutting and thinking about this, and when I was done I had two huge piles of branches, and two ugly little stumps of bushes, and two really sore armpits (seriously, what muscles does pruning use, because I don't think I'd ever used them before). I hope I did the right thing and that from the two stumps will spring up new green stalks and that mid summer they'll be in full and fragrant lilac bloom. And I'm praying that I have the good sense to let God prune me, too.

PS. On an unrelated note, Scruffy just came and stuck his nose under my arm as I typed, which is dog for, "Don't forget to post about my new haircut please." He does look pretty keee-yoot! Here he is modeling the new hyena-style do. I swear, if I take half as many pictures of my future children as I do my dog, we'll be set.