Facing the Fires

In my Bible study we have been going through Daniel. This is great, because I knew next to nothing about that particular book. Like every kid who went to Sunday School, I have vague memories of the "Daniel in the Lion's Den" story, but that was about it.

I didn't even realize that one of my favorite Old Testament stories was IN the book of Daniel. That'd be the one with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I also didn't realize that though I knew the basics - the three of them won't bow to the false gods, the king throws them in the furnace, but they don't burn up and the king is amazed - I didn't really understand any further what it meant and how it could truly reveal God's sovreignty in our toughest trials.

What I learned was so good I just really wanted to share it with you all! I hope you find it as meaningful - and ultimately comforting - as I did.

If you want to read it first, the account of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is in Daniel, chapter 3.

So background: these three guys were actually Israelite (Jewish) captives living in Babylon and working for the king. Their names were not Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego - these were Babylonian monikers assigned to them to force their assimilation into the culture. Their real names are revealed in Daniel 1:6 - Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. All three names have meaning related to the goodness and sovreignty of God.

More background: King Nebuchadnezzar was the head honcho in Babylon, the mightiest empire of the day. It was by his hand that Jerusalem was seized and that strong, smart young men like Hananiah, Mishael, Azariah, and their friend Daniel were taken prisoner and forced into the king's service. Though just one chapter ago in Daniel 2 Nebuchadnezzar learned through Daniel's interpretation of his dream that God would break all the kingdoms of the earth - including Old Neb's - he decided the best thing to do to assert his authority was to built a gargantuan statue and have everybody bow and worship it.

Cut to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who respectfully declined... in front of every important person in Babylon, who had gathered for the celebratory first bowing-down and worshipping session. Nebuchadnezzar walks over, points to the roaring burning inferno just off to the side of the statue, and is like, "Oh, maybe you didn't hear me when I said to bow down. I'll give you one more chance to do it and then it's roasting to death for you three."

And they respond, in what has got to be one of the best comebacks EVER: "Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

We could just stop there, right? God is able to rescue us from any circumstance. ANY. But even if He does not, will you remain faithful? Even unto a fiery death? Just, BAM. Gets me!

But there's more to think about. In her study, Beth gives three ways God delivers us when we face the fires in life.

We can be delivered FROM the fire. This would have been like if the king's response was "Wow, I'm impressed by your devotion. No furnace for you today! You all can live and you can worship your God as you'd like." Or from a modern perspective, a near miss. A car crash that you narrowly avoided. A health scare that turns out to be nothing. A shaky circumstance that ends more positively than it should've. This is, as Beth points out, what we all rationally hope for! God's deliverence in this way BUILDS our faith. Turn your gratitude toward Him and give Him the praise He deserves when this is your fortunate lot!

We can be delivered THROUGH the fire. This is what happened to our three brave young men. They were bound and thrown into the furnace. It was so intense that the soldiers in charge of putting them in the fire died just because they got too close. But when the king peers into the flames, he is astonished to see not three but FOUR men walking - walking! - around in the furnace. Unbound. Unharmed. God himself walked through the fire with them. They came out of the furnace and not a hair on their head was singed and they didn't even smell like smoke. God can deliver you through the fires in your life, too, walking with you the whole time. The injury or sickness that you must endure until you are healed. The long, tough road through a desert in your life, when all you want is to reach the other side already. The difficult, strained relationship that takes every last ounce of your energy to maintain and honor. God is in the process of delivering you through that even as it happens. And like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, your faith will be REFINED. Improved. Made stronger. Again, just like these three, when you exit the fire by God's hand, the only thing burned away will be what bound you up.

We can be delivered BY the fire. This is death. And by it you are delivered straight into the waiting arms of our Father. If God had allowed these three to die in the fire, they would still have been delivered, just in an eternal way. And they were willing to face it. "Even if he doesn't," remember? Death, in the end, is what PERFECTS our faith.

So when we face these fires, what gods are we tempted to bow to? Bitterness? Unbelief? Self-pity, maybe, or resentment? Write the words of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego on your hearts. Sear them on your tongue. "The God I serve is able to save me from anything, and he will rescue me from this fire. But even if he does not, I will not bow to the little gods of this world."

You know what else will happen when you trust in God and refuse to bow to any other? God will get the glory for your faithfulness, and others will want to know him more. Look at what Nebuchadnezzer proclaimed when the three exited the fire unharmed:

"Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."

No other god indeed.

Somebody Loves Me

Sweet Baby James,

Hello dear one! Guess what? I woke up at 5:30 this morning! Was that your doing? Before you come out here to greet the world, I think we should clear up one thing. In this family - which you're now a part of - we LOVE sleep! We only see one 5:30 every day, and it's the one in the evening! So just get that in your tiny developing head - sleep is GOOD. Sleep is your FRIEND.

Not only do I like to sleep, and not only does your dad like to sleep, but another member of our family also likes to sleep. Oh yes, there's someone else out here already. His name is Scruffy.

Momma & Scruffy last fall

Scruffy is our dog. We really love him so much, even though he has lots of neurotic issues. One of those issues is that he is not fond of children, but we're hoping to make a breakthrough there in the next eight months.

Scruffy has always really loved your dad. He loves me, too, and we've become good buddies since I've been at home more. But still, dad is Numero Uno in our house. That is, until now.

You growing in my tummy doesn't really look different from the outside yet. I mean, I wish this belly bump was because of you! But even though I don't look different, I feel different. And I have lots of new hormones racing around in my body getting you built and getting me ready. And I really, sincerely think Scruffy has picked up on this. Because he looooooooves me.

He follows me around everywhere. If I go to the bathroom, he stands outside and waits for me. And this is when dad is home too! If I am on one couch and dad is on the other, he just won't stop pestering me. He wants me to pet him, or he wants to jump up by me, and last night he just laid down on my feet. Isn't that crazy? I did a little online research and it turns out this is fairly common behavior and that dogs and some cats sense the changes in their owner and respond with more clingy or protective behavior.

So I guess I owe you a thanks, my darling little sesame seed, for making me top dog around here for once!

Love,

Momma

Are You Messing With Me?

Breakfast of Champions

Sweet Baby James,

I've always loved Goldfish crackers. But I didn't ever think I'd be eating them before 9 o'clock in the morning because every other food I even thought about made me want to barf.

Love,

Momma

You Belong to God

Sweet Baby James,

Hello dear one! Yesterday I really had a moment with God where I sort of turned you over to Him, so to speak. I have a feeling I'll have to continually do this for the entire rest of your life!

Like every pregnant momma, I have some nagging fears about something happening to you before you are born, such as having a miscarriage. That's one reason we're trying really hard to wait to tell everyone about you till you are a little more big and strong inside me. For whatever reasons, the first trimester has a much greater chance that something can happen.

I know this is a real possibility, but it isn't one I'm hoping for. I pray fervently against it, that God would continue to knit you together in me, and that you would grow and form perfectly as you are meant to do. I'm doing my part, too, to stay away from anything that would harm you and only put the good stuff in. Even things I thought I loved and could never do without - like Diet Coke! I gave that up cold turkey the minute I found out you were coming! And Baby, your Momma loves her some Diet Coke. But you know what I found out? I love you more.

Even with all that I can do, however, there are still things that could happen. And yesterday I had some prayer time where I really begged God not to let that happen to you.

In my Bible study at church we are going through the book of Daniel. There is a lot about it I don't understand! But yesterday my study was about loyalty, and about pre-determining the answer you would have regardless of the situation. For example, the leader said it wouldn't matter the situation, but she felt confident that if it ever came down to giving her life to spare her children, she would do it without a thought. I imagine I will feel the same way about you! Then we kind of translated that idea to our faith and our walk with God. Is there anything that could happen in my life, whether by God's hand or the existence of evil in our world, that would cause me to turn away from God? I don't think I've ever been faced with something that intense before. But loyalty is about deciding ahead of time the kind of decision you would make.

I waited for what felt like so long for the time when I could finally become a mom. I think going through a miscarriage might be one of the hardest things I've ever had to experience in my life. So yesterday when I was praying and crying to God I decided that if that did happen, I would, by his grace, remain faithful. If I believe in the most joyful season that God is in control, orchestrating life for my good, then I would have to believe it even in the hardest, darkest, saddest moments of my life.

You belong to God anyway, my sweet baby sesame seed. By his grace and favor I'm carrying you for this season, but I always want you to know who you are. You are a child of God! As much as I longed for you, and as much as I will love you in this life, He longed for you and loves you infinitely more.

I pray that God will increase my love for Him so that it overflows into my love for you every day!

Love,

Momma

Soup's On!

It finally, mercifully cooled off here in Nashville. Now it actually feels like the beginning of Fall, instead of Summer Part II: The Sequel. And I really love Fall, because it includes some of my favorite things like football and hoodies and crunchy leaves and soup!

I tried a new soup recipe just a few days ago and it was so good I just had to share! I got it from a Paula Deen magazine, so I wouldn't call it a particularly healthy soup, but it is warm and hearty and really really yummy! Plus you could probably make it a little healthier with a few modifications and it is even vegetarian friendly, if you substitute (even accidentally, as I did) vegetable broth for the chicken broth.

Here is the recipe, and then I'll mention the handful of modifications I made.

Potato Corn Chowder

• 1/2 cup butter


• 1 cup diced onion


• 1 cup diced carrot


• 1 cup diced celery


• 1 cup diced red bell pepper


• 3 cloves garlic, minced


• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour


• 1 32-oz carton chicken broth


• 4 cups whole milk


• 6 cups quartered red potatoes


• 1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme


• 2 pounds frozen corn kernels


• 2 cups shredded sharp Cheddar cheese


• 1 cup sour cream


• 2 1/2 teaspoons salt


• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper


• 1 teaspoon hot sauce

In a large Dutch oven, melt butter over medium-high heat. Add onion, carrot, celery, red bell pepper, and garlic; cook, stirring frequently, for 8-10 minutes or until vegetables are very tender.

Stir in flour and cook, stirring constantly, for 2 minutes. Stir in chicken broth and milk. Add potatoes and thyme; bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add corn; increase heat to medium-high. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes.

Stir in cheese, sour cream, salt, pepper, and hot sauce, stirring until cheese is melted. Remove from heat, and serve immediately.

***

You can make it just like that, but if you're like me I needed to make some modifications. Here's what I did, whether by accident or necessity, but it still turned out deliciously.

Ingredients:

• I used dried minced onion instead of fresh diced, because I seriously loathe dicing onion. Just make sure to use the correct equivalent. Mine said 1 tablespoon was equal to about a 1/3 cup fresh.


• I used a pre-diced mix of red/yellow/green bell pepper, which I found in the fresh produce section of the grocery store. I also found pre-diced fresh celery. So handy!
  


• I love garlic, but didn't have any fresh or jarred, so I just gave a good shake of garlic salt. Not the same thing, but I had to make do.


• I accidentally bought and used vegetable broth instead of chicken broth. It still tasted great!


• I accidentally bought (see the theme here) not enough whole milk so I ended up using 2 cups whole, 2 cups skim. Health bonus!


• When I quartered the red potatoes they still looked way too big. So I say, just cut the potatoes into chunky bite-size pieces.


• I had no thyme, fresh or otherwise. Oops.


• I used reduced fat (but not fat-free) sour cream


• I did not put in hot sauce. I figured Ben could add his own if he wanted.

Directions:

• I do not have a Dutch oven, so I just used a big stock pot and tried to control the temperature as needed.


• Also, in the step where I added the flour, the veggies sucked it up very quickly so I don't think I cooked them for the full 2 minutes suggested because I was afraid they would start to burn.


• The recipe didn't say, but it makes a LOT of soup. Ben had two full bowls, I had one, and I probably filled four good size tupperwares up with the leftovers.

I hope you try it out and enjoy it as much as I did! Yummy and perfect for a crisp, cool fall evening!

Sesame Seed!

Sweet Baby James,

I have to stop calling you my little poppy seed because you've already grown to be the size of a sesame seed. It is still so tiny but look how much bigger than last week already!


You are growing like a champ! Apparently this is why I am so tired, because all the systems of my body have abandoned me in favor of working on you. I'm totally okay with this, by the way.

No more weird food stuff to report so far. I have felt a little nauseous on and off but it seems to go away if I eat something.

I had to go all weekend long without telling anyone about you, and that was HARD! I accidentally almost spilled the beans on Friday night when we went to have dinner with another couple. She is pregnant too, although she's about to have her baby in just a couple weeks. It was a close call, but I think Dad saved the day with a misdirection.

I also talked to my parents on the phone (you'll know them better as Grandma and Grandpa) and I had to bite my tongue not to blurt it out. But I really want to tell them in person, so I'm trying to figure out when we can get to see them again. I am not a good secret keeper, my little sesame seed! This is hard work!

Love,
Momma

Knit Together

Sweet Baby James,

Good morning! I am thanking God for you this morning! I read these verses and just cried at the new meaning He has given them for me through you!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.

Pretty cool, huh? God is knitting you together in me right now. Do you know what I found out? So I'm five weeks pregnant, which means you've really only been around three weeks (I know, I don't get it either). Three weeks - just 21 days - and already the major systems of your body are being formed. This very week - maybe this very minute - your heart is dividing into the chambers it will need to beat and pump your blood. How God can orchestrate all of this to happen inside my body is seriously amazing.

I really love the part that says, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." You belong first and foremost to God. I feel like I've been waiting most of my adult life to be your momma. But God has been waiting since before time began with YOU in mind! I don't know what your heart sounds like or what your sweet face will look like, but he knows all your days, and all the ways he will use you for His glory! When I think of it that way, I can't believe he's giving you to me for this time! Now THAT is truly humbling!

Wow, and I thought I had a problem overusing exclamation points in my writing before this. Thinking about you just brings them out I guess!

Love,

Momma

PS. !!!!!!!!!

I Ate A Banana

Sweet Baby James,

That might not mean anything to you, that I ate a banana, though I hope you enjoyed it. But it means something to me, because I hate bananas. Today I was just looking at the bananas I bought your dad and I said out loud, "I think I want to eat one of those." I have no idea where that came from, but I suspect it was my first official craving. Of course, halfway through I got sicked out by the texture and had to stop. So I guess technically I only ate half a banana. Still, it was 100% more banana than I've had in probably 20 years.

Food desires/interests have definitely started coming into play with this whole being pregnant thing. I actually noticed it before I even knew about you. Last week, two days in a row, the only thing I wanted for lunch was a Chick-fil-a chicken sandwich. Same for this week. Even though usually I would get the nuggets, because they are cheaper and I like them better, every time I got up to the counter to order I would open my mouth and instead of "kids meal with nuggets" I would say "chicken sandwich, wheat bun, no pickle." (By the way, I don't care what kind of crazy stuff you demand, I can tell you right now I'll never eat a pickle. Don't even ask.)

Mostly I'm just not really hungry at all. But I promise you, I am going to try to eat good things that will make you strong and healthy! I have not had the best eating habits in my life, but then again I've never had a motivation like you.

I told someone else about you today! This was a very important person in my life, my friend (you can call her Aunt) Jenny. You might hear me refer to her as "Nay." We had a standing dinner appointment and I hadn't decided whether I was going to tell her or not. I figured if she didn't ask me about it, I wouldn't say anything. See, we talk about everything, and so she's known for a long time how much I wanted you!

Well, as you can imagine, it didn't take long before I spilled the beans! It is just too hard to keep you a secret! She was very excited and that made me even more excited. It was wonderful to share with someone I love so much. My little poppy seed, you will love Nay so much too! She used to be my roommate in college, and she is so smart! She works with soldiers who have been hurt to help their brains get better. She loves Jesus so much and is really inspiring to me!

Love,

Momma

Wednesday, Brain Free Day!

Today I basically forgot how to be a functioning human being. I don't know if I was just tired or what but geeeeeeeez.

I could provide multiple examples, but we'll just cut to the most humiliating.

My place of work is right next to a Chick-fil-a. So naturally, I was eating there for lunch. I sat by myself in a sunny booth on the opposite side from the children's play place, planning on doing a little reading and enjoying my chicken sandwich. I had my own drink, a berry Vitamin Water that I'd been sipping on.

Oh, let's mention how I was wearing a cute new shirt too. That'll come into play momentarily.

So, I'm reading, and lunching, and enjoying myself. I go to give my Vitamin Water bottle a shake - just a habit I have before I take a drink.

Except I had already taken the lid off. And laid it on the table. So my vigorous drink shaking turned into a cold, abrupt shower. I mean, literally. And I don't like to misuse that word. But LITERALLY. I was drenched. Thank goodness I had a fat stack of napkins, which I immediately used up drying off my face - my FACE, people - and my arms, and my chest. My new shirt was soaked down the front, and my lap was conveniently spotted to look like I'd peed my pants. And of course I got it all over my book.

While I wiped myself down I looked around frantically to see if anyone was pointing and laughing, which they would've had every right to do. Thankfully, everyone seemed otherwise occupied, and I was able to grab my belongings and scurry to the bathroom to survey the damage further. I patted down as much as I could with some paper towels, then artfully held my bag so as to block the did-that-girl-pee-her-pants spot on my jeans and high-tailed it out of the restaurant. Shame bonus: As I speed-walked to the door, I saw some poor Chick-fil-a employee mopping up the floor by the booth where I had been sitting. THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. HE NEEDED A MOP.

Now, I don't know what happened to you today, but that has got to take the cake.

Dream Come True

Sweet Baby James,

This morning I took another test. Just to be sure. And so I could show your dad the instant results. And guess what? You're still in there!

Did you know this week you're as big as a poppy seed? You're obviously the smartest and most beautiful poppy seed ever, I'm sure.

Today I felt like I was keeping the biggest, best secret of my life. Which I guess I am! I want to tell everyone about you! But the smart thing is to wait until you're a little bigger and a little stronger, so that's what I'm trying to do.

I did tell one person today. It was so exciting to actually say the words! I told my boss at work. I work at a bookstore. (Books are awesome and you will LOVE THEM.) I have to be on my feet a lot and I have different hours each week, so I wanted to tell her in case I start to feel sick or faint or whatnot, so she'd know what is up. I made her swear up and down not to tell ANYONE.

Speaking of that, let's have a little chat. Right now, I feel pretty good. I get really tired very suddenly, but that's about it. I don't feel nauseous yet. As I've read, that can actually kick into gear in the next couple weeks. But I rather like not barfing. So how about we make a little arrangement, you and I, where you don't make me sick and I will... I don't know. Let you date when you're 16. Yeah.

On my lunch break I also went and bought two important things. First, a book to teach me what the heck is going on with me and you for the next 9 months. There's a lot for me to learn! Second, I bought us some vitamins because I want you to be smart and healthy and strong and not have three arms or something. I'd love you even if you did have three arms, but we can all agree two well-formed arms are probably for the best. It was pretty crazy buying these things, because it made it seem more real that YOU are real!

Tomorrow I'll tell you lots more about how you are making me feel. But for now, my little poppy seed, I just want to say that I love you and waiting for you is my new favorite thing.

Love,

Momma