A Wedding; A Marriage

I don't know if you heard, but there was a wedding this weekend.

In what was probably the most-hyped wedding since that of his own parents, Prince William married his long-time girlfriend Kate Middleton on Friday. The ceremony was watched around the world, by over 20 million just in the United States. Including me. That's right, I crawled out of bed before 5am and turned on the TV just in time to see the bride emerge from her car in front of the church. She was, in a word, stunning. This is my favorite picture of her in that moment. Just about to become a princess.

You got a sense during the ceremony - as much as one can "sense" these things about two people they don't know, through a television set - that they were truly in love and happy to be marrying each other. With my apologies to Will for the unflattering angle, look how cute and smiley they were at the altar:

It turned out to be a marriage-centered weekend on the whole. Friday night, Ben came home after being gone all week in Los Angeles. Really in a way he was coming home from being mostly gone for two months, entrenched in work that kept him away almost all day (and half the night) every day for March and April. It was fitting that the first thing we did together on Saturday was attend a marriage seminar at church, led by our pastor Ray and his wife Jani. Then today, Ray preached on marriage again. There were so many sweet, convicting, and encouraging truths about marriage revealed and reinforced over these two days. I thought I would share just a few of these thoughts here. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did! (If it seems a little lopsided toward advice for women, that's just because I was writing what seemed most pertinent to me in my notes! Don't worry, they spent equal time instructing the guys. I tried to catch some of that too!)

Genesis 2:18-25

*Marriage was a gift from God in the garden. It speaks to how highly He values it that he allowed humanity to retain the blessing of marriage even after the fall.

*A wife is one of the chief vehicles for her husband to receive goodness from the Lord. A high and holy calling.

*The woman is called helper. It is not a small or demeaning label! In scripture, God himself is called our Help and our Helper! A helper is someone who is able to give support from a position of strength, in the fullness of her experience, wisdom, and talents.

*To be married is to have a "one-flesh" relationship: one mortal life fully shared. One story. One reputation. One ministry. One victory.

Ephesians 5:22-33

*Submission is a word women fear, but it needn't be. It is not a demeaning human social invention. It began in heaven, and culminated when Christ submitted to the will of the Father. When frightened by the noble calling of submission, PRAY. Ask God for the strength to trust that He ordered things correctly.

*It is voluntary, not a demand from a husband. It is a gracious adaptability. It is deference over defiance. It is an offering to God when we yield in love - as Christ yielded before the will of the Father. It has nothing to do with weakness or not being able to communicate together.

*I can seek to live above my feelings, so they don't dictate my commitment.

*A Christian husband enriches the splendor of his wife's life. Because of his love, she becomes more formidable in the hand of God. He nourishes and cherishes his wife. He is a conduit of Jesus' divine love for her.

*Don't be fooled by the commonality of marriage in human existence. The marriage of two believers is a revelation of the gospel on display.

*No woman wants to have to earn her husband's love. In the same way, wives can give their husbands respect as a gift, not as something to be earned. They will understand respect as love.

How the Gospel Changes Marriage

*A law-consumed husband/wife says "_______ or else." Remember this, say this, provide this, do this, or else. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law - from the "or else" clause of life. That should change our marriages too.

*Marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. This is the relationship Christ has with us. Satisfaction in the love of Christ is the best defense of your marriage. Don't burden your spouse with expectations of perfection.

1 Peter 3:1-7

*This passage teaches each role (husband/wife) how to look to Christ as the example.

*A Christ-like wife: a spirit that receives rather than competes is called very precious! You can change your husband, even something as serious as his beliefs, by this. But no matter what your husband's response to your pure conduct, it is beautiful in God's sight.

*Focus most on adorning yourself with the imperishable things. Worry is not beautiful. Hope in God is beautiful.

*Family idolatry is not the call of the gospel. Don't worship your children, or your spouse.

*A Christ-like husband: study your wife so that you can understand her most deeply. Love her in the way that is meaningful to HER. If she is unsatisfied even after that? Love her anyway. Christ loved us when we would not be satisfied, even unto death.

*Weaker vessel is a reference to what women endure physically that men do not. Honor your wife in that, and give her first consideration.

*For both men and women, the idea that "this (ie, strong-willed, stubborn, shy, laid-back) is just the personality I was born with" can't hold water. In Christ we are reborn. We are freed and made able to be more like Christ, despite our personalities.

*Spiritually, we are equals before God: co-heirs. Together.

*Above all else, a Christian marriage exists to the glory of God.

Facing the Fires

In my Bible study we have been going through Daniel. This is great, because I knew next to nothing about that particular book. Like every kid who went to Sunday School, I have vague memories of the "Daniel in the Lion's Den" story, but that was about it.

I didn't even realize that one of my favorite Old Testament stories was IN the book of Daniel. That'd be the one with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I also didn't realize that though I knew the basics - the three of them won't bow to the false gods, the king throws them in the furnace, but they don't burn up and the king is amazed - I didn't really understand any further what it meant and how it could truly reveal God's sovreignty in our toughest trials.

What I learned was so good I just really wanted to share it with you all! I hope you find it as meaningful - and ultimately comforting - as I did.

If you want to read it first, the account of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is in Daniel, chapter 3.

So background: these three guys were actually Israelite (Jewish) captives living in Babylon and working for the king. Their names were not Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego - these were Babylonian monikers assigned to them to force their assimilation into the culture. Their real names are revealed in Daniel 1:6 - Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. All three names have meaning related to the goodness and sovreignty of God.

More background: King Nebuchadnezzar was the head honcho in Babylon, the mightiest empire of the day. It was by his hand that Jerusalem was seized and that strong, smart young men like Hananiah, Mishael, Azariah, and their friend Daniel were taken prisoner and forced into the king's service. Though just one chapter ago in Daniel 2 Nebuchadnezzar learned through Daniel's interpretation of his dream that God would break all the kingdoms of the earth - including Old Neb's - he decided the best thing to do to assert his authority was to built a gargantuan statue and have everybody bow and worship it.

Cut to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who respectfully declined... in front of every important person in Babylon, who had gathered for the celebratory first bowing-down and worshipping session. Nebuchadnezzar walks over, points to the roaring burning inferno just off to the side of the statue, and is like, "Oh, maybe you didn't hear me when I said to bow down. I'll give you one more chance to do it and then it's roasting to death for you three."

And they respond, in what has got to be one of the best comebacks EVER: "Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

We could just stop there, right? God is able to rescue us from any circumstance. ANY. But even if He does not, will you remain faithful? Even unto a fiery death? Just, BAM. Gets me!

But there's more to think about. In her study, Beth gives three ways God delivers us when we face the fires in life.

We can be delivered FROM the fire. This would have been like if the king's response was "Wow, I'm impressed by your devotion. No furnace for you today! You all can live and you can worship your God as you'd like." Or from a modern perspective, a near miss. A car crash that you narrowly avoided. A health scare that turns out to be nothing. A shaky circumstance that ends more positively than it should've. This is, as Beth points out, what we all rationally hope for! God's deliverence in this way BUILDS our faith. Turn your gratitude toward Him and give Him the praise He deserves when this is your fortunate lot!

We can be delivered THROUGH the fire. This is what happened to our three brave young men. They were bound and thrown into the furnace. It was so intense that the soldiers in charge of putting them in the fire died just because they got too close. But when the king peers into the flames, he is astonished to see not three but FOUR men walking - walking! - around in the furnace. Unbound. Unharmed. God himself walked through the fire with them. They came out of the furnace and not a hair on their head was singed and they didn't even smell like smoke. God can deliver you through the fires in your life, too, walking with you the whole time. The injury or sickness that you must endure until you are healed. The long, tough road through a desert in your life, when all you want is to reach the other side already. The difficult, strained relationship that takes every last ounce of your energy to maintain and honor. God is in the process of delivering you through that even as it happens. And like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, your faith will be REFINED. Improved. Made stronger. Again, just like these three, when you exit the fire by God's hand, the only thing burned away will be what bound you up.

We can be delivered BY the fire. This is death. And by it you are delivered straight into the waiting arms of our Father. If God had allowed these three to die in the fire, they would still have been delivered, just in an eternal way. And they were willing to face it. "Even if he doesn't," remember? Death, in the end, is what PERFECTS our faith.

So when we face these fires, what gods are we tempted to bow to? Bitterness? Unbelief? Self-pity, maybe, or resentment? Write the words of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego on your hearts. Sear them on your tongue. "The God I serve is able to save me from anything, and he will rescue me from this fire. But even if he does not, I will not bow to the little gods of this world."

You know what else will happen when you trust in God and refuse to bow to any other? God will get the glory for your faithfulness, and others will want to know him more. Look at what Nebuchadnezzer proclaimed when the three exited the fire unharmed:

"Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."

No other god indeed.

Advent Thoughts: Mary

Two years ago I wrote lyrics for my first and only songwriting collaboration with our choir director at church. He asked me to write something about Mary's perspective on the Christmas story.

I was thinking about how Mary was the first one to know Jesus as Immanuel, his name which translates as "God-with-us." She was the first person in history to experience the indwelling of Christ. The really cool part is that she knew it literally, as she carried the baby who was also God inside her. Because of this ultimate miracle, now you and I can carry Him in our hearts. Isn't that amazing?

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14


"The virgin will be with child

and will give birth to a son

and will call him Immanuel."

Then the angel sang

to fulfill those ancient words

that God-with-out

would become God-with-in

Sweet in Mary's heart

sprang the first worship

of God-with-us

Immanuel

Soon this foretold child

would live mankind to save

but just this hushed moment

the joy was hers alone:

"O may my soul sing

forever of your great love!

How can it be that in me stirs

the rescue of all ages?"

Advent Thoughts: It's True

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25


Eight little verses in Matthew open a new chapter in the most fantastic story ever told. Nearly 28,000 verses of back-story in the prelude of the Old Testament, all leading to the first bodily appearance by our Hero... who arrives as a squirming, red-faced baby boy. Who was born of a virgin. Who, along with her husband-to-be, was told about all this in a dream and visitation by an angel. And did you catch the part where the baby was to be the savior of the world, God-incarnate?

It's fantastic. It's so crazy. It's more out-there than the plotline of anything we have ever come up with. Any book, any movie, any other story: there's those and then there's This.

C. S. Lewis, in describing some of how he came to believe that Christ was the Son of God, wrote that he eventually realized that "the story of Christ is simply a true myth: a myth working on us in the same way as the others, but with this tremendous difference that it really happened: and one must be content to accept it in the same way."

He understood that the human race is a people of stories and storytelling. It's our tradition that really and truly sets us apart from the rest of nature. We love stories and we allow them daily to affect us. We cry at movies, we connect with song lyrics, we are inspired by characters in books and their quests and we name our children after them. Lewis came to understand that we shouldn't turn off that part of ourselves when it comes to facing the story of Jesus.

So fall in love with this magical, fantastic story, embracing everything it means. And then, go one step further. See the one "tremendous difference" from all other myths out there.

It's true. Utterly, mercifully, graciously, wonderfully true. Read it again. It's true.

Advent Thoughts

I'm just going to stop numbering these, because then I don't have to feel guilty about my rather loose interpretation of doing "daily" posts...

In a sermon a few weeks ago, our pastor talked about how God wants to move us towards fearlessness. What would THAT be like, huh? To live, unafraid of the future, chasing after God and embracing without a backward glance all that he extends to us...

In scripture's account of the Christmas story, every time an angel shows up, the first thing they say is "Do not be afraid." Here's three times just in Luke:

But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John." Luke 1:13

But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God." Luke 1:30

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." Luke 2:10

Of course, the angels are saying "do not be afraid" partially in reference to themselves, as seeing an angel pop up in front of you was just as shocking as an experience to these people as it would've been to you or me. But I think what we know of God and His great plan shows us that the "do not be afraid" part is mostly in reference to what is about to be revealed.

God told these people not to be afraid, even though what would come next for each of them was sort of terrifying!

"Zechariah, don't be afraid of the fact that you and your wife are old and that it is scientifically impossible for her to be pregnant. Don't be afraid that the son I'm going to give you has a really important job to prepare the way for my son."

"Mary, don't be afraid that you are the one who is getting this ultimate job of motherhood. Don't be afraid that no one will believe you, because they might not, but I know the truth. Don't be afraid of your husband-to-be and what he will think. Don't be afraid of the way people will talk. Don't be afraid about how this isn't how you thought the Messiah would eventually appear. Don't be afraid even though your son's life - and yes, Mary, someday his death - will change the course of history."

"Shepherds, don't be afraid that people might think you're crazy when you tell them what you saw. Don't be afraid that this baby won't be the king in the way you imagined he should be. Don't be afraid that this is too good to be true; I sent this baby to be to you as you are to the sheep asleep at your feet."

Can it be as simple as that, for you and for me? That God would say to us, "Do not be afraid," and, even if what he says next sounds really really scary, we could obey? At Christmas, we celebrate the most extraordinary miracle of all time. Our Savior entered the world. That's got to be more than enough reason to follow God into fearlessness.

Advent Thoughts #3, #4, #5

I figured I better catch up on my days since I started this a little late so I'm using the three gifts of the Magi to count for three different advent thoughts. I wanted to do a little research (Thank you Wikipedia) on the gifts and their meaning.

Matthew is the only gospel to mention the three gifts by name. And interestingly enough, the traditional nativity representation of three wisemen stems from the fact that three gifts were mentioned. We don't really know how many were in their group. We also don't know when they came to see Jesus exactly, though most scholars agree it was not at the scene of his birth.

"When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh." Matthew 2:10-11

I love buying and giving presents at Christmas. Spending time to pick out something perfect, wrapping it up beautifully, watching the recipient open it and (hopefully) love it... that's my favorite part. If only I would take a hint from the wise men and remember that first and foremost I should bring my gifts to God! I love that they were so incredibly excited to find Jesus that scripture uses TWO forms of the word "joy" in the same sentence. Shouldn't I "rejoice exceedingly with great joy" to find Christ this Christmas; to find him every day?

Here's a little info I rounded up about each gift and its significance:

Gold - Just like today, gold was very valuable during ancient times. It would also have been a practical gift since it could be used for currency by Mary & Joseph. The symbolic nature of gold is to reference Jesus as king. In fact, all the gifts are common to what might have been given to royalty at that time. The wise men recognized Jesus's lordship, even in the form of a chubby little baby.

Frankincense - This gift, like its name implies, was a material that could be burned as incense. It comes originally as dried sap from a specific tree that is native to the southern area of the Arabian Peninsula. It was used by multiple ancient cultures, including Egyptians, Jews, and Chinese, across Africa and Asia as a fragrant incense during religious ceremonies. It was also used in perfume, makeup, and medicines. It relates symbolically to Jesus as priest, as our connection to God the Father.

Myrrh - Myrrh is also a tree-sap byproduct. It has some really interesting historical uses. The ancient Egyptians used it to embalm the dead. Despite its bitter qualities, it was also used in fine perfumes and anointing oils, and is mentioned throughout scripture as such. Myrrh also has a functional use as an antiseptic, and is used as such even today. Whether the magi intended it or not, the gift of myrrh has come to foreshadow Christ's death on the cross. It has a haunting scriptural parallel in Mark's account of the crucifixion:

They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. Mark 15:22-24

The symbolic nature of these items is fascinating stuff, but when I think of the magi and their gifts, I am mostly convicted about my own gifts to God. Have I brought him my best? My most rare and valuable? My most prized and significant offerings? Gifts to glorify Jesus my God, to honor Jesus my Priest, to thank Jesus my Savior? Clean hands, a pure heart, incessant prayer, songs of worship, obedience, compassion... these and more are the offerings we can bring.

The Bible: Good for Your Heart

A lot has been going on around me lately - sad and confusing and frustrating and heart-wrenching stuff that has me simultaneously feeling numb, feeling like crying, and feeling like screaming. Knowing God is in control makes the hurt meaningful, but it doesn't seem to make it hurt any less. One thing I hope is that it drives me back again and again to His words. Two days ago, I said that my heart hurt; I felt like my heart was breaking. Today it seemed like everything on the open page of my Bible was there just for me, to bind up my hurts and give my heart comfort... some excerpts:

From Psalm 27
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
Be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.


From Psalm 28
Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.


From Psalm 30
I will exalt you, O Lord,
For you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord, my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

You turned my wailing into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
That my heart may sing to you and not be silent.


From Psalm 31
Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.
Love the Lord, all his saints!
The Lord preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full.
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.