Scruffy

In case you haven't been properly introduced, this is my dog, Scruffy:

I know I might be biased, but he is probably one of the best dogs ever in the history of dogs. I took this picture of him at the park a few weeks ago and every time I look at it it makes me smile. Scruffy is hilarious, loyal, quiet, pouncy, cuddly, relaxed, happy. His eyes are the color of caramel, his fur is fluffy and curly, and he has this extra skin around his neck - we call it, appropriately, his "scruff." We think he's about 5 and a half or 6 years old.


He is a mutt in the truest sense of the word... some poodle, perhaps black lab, some kind of terrier, etc. We don't know where he came from, or what his doggy life was like before we picked him up from the Nashville Humane Society. I sometimes think of how adorable he must have been as a little fluffy puppy, and feel sad that I missed that part of his life. I hope that he was loved and happy but the truth of it is probably that he was homeless or abandoned.


While in a sense I am grateful that Scruffy's doggy parents weren't fixed (because otherwise he wouldn't exist), the truth is that there is an extreme dog and cat overpopulation in this country because people do not get their pets spayed and neutered. I didn't know this until doing some research a few weeks ago, but 3-4 MILLION cats and dogs are euthanized in shelters every year because there are simply too many of them. According to the organization SPAY-USA (http://www.spayusa.org/) there are 15 dogs to every one person in America... obviously we're talking about a seriously unfavorable ratio. So please, please, please take your cats and dogs to be fixed. You can find out lots more about why and how through the Humane Society:

http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/why_you_should_spay_or_neuter_your_pet.html


Well, I really just intended to write a post about how awesome the Scruff-ster is, but I guess this was a good tangent to get on!

Best Thing About Last Weekend

My 80-year-old grandma receiving and taking her first picture with her brand new digital camera:



I spent a few days in Kansas City with her, my mom, and my two aunts... it was really a blessing to be with them and hear all these amazing stories from these amazing women. Here are some of the fascinating things I found out:

My great-grandmother was always called "Babe." She died when my Grandma was just 15, leaving her to raise her three younger siblings.

My aunt Judy was engaged to a man before she married my uncle Phil. She found out just in the nick of time that this man was already married with five children. They confirmed this by calling his house and pretending to take a survey of household detergent users. Seriously!

My aunt Sandy, like me, loves horses. One of her happiest moments was when my Uncle Bob gave her one on Christmas morning - his name was Buddy, and he was tied up in the back yard with a red ribbon on his head.

When they were growing up, Judy had her own room since she was the oldest and my mom, Sally, had to share a room with Sandy. Even so, they all usually ended up sleeping together in one double bed. That made me smile because until I was about 14, Ashley and I did the same thing.

Anyway, there were more stories shared than I could recount here and several lifetimes' worth of memories and all of it reminded me of how very much I love my family.

A Little Down Time

I've been a little down for the past couple days... just thinking about lots of things, but especially my direction/future plans. I'm having trouble even putting a finger on what exactly is wrong, and so maybe it isn't one specific thing. But generally, I don't know what is in store for me and I am afraid of missing something important, or not taking a risk, or waking up one morning five years from now and wondering why I'm going to the job I am or doing the things I'm doing and realizing I'm thirty, not eighteen or twenty or twenty five anymore, and I don't have all the time in the world to decide what I want to "be" when I grow up.


I want to travel the world, I want to have children and be a mother, I want to write and create and who knows what else. What if those things are never in God's plan for me? Sometimes it is so hard to tell the difference between when the desires of our heart are supposed to be laid down in submission to God's greater plan and when those same desires are supposed to be pursued BECAUSE God has laid them on our heart in the first place!


I get frustrated sometimes because I think I trained myself too well growing up to achieve academically as the best way to get to the next step or stage in my life. I feel like I am betraying my education and intelligence by wandering around in this "limbo" period, without a career-oriented goal to work toward. I remember not too long ago talking with Ben about all this and suddenly bursting into tears saying "I'm smart too!" He was probably confused, but what I meant was that all around me are people pursuing - or practicing - just the thing that their education prepared them for. I feel left behind, I suppose, doodling around in a job that I like but have no desire to pursue as a career. I admire (and am jealous of?) how my friends confidentally saw God's calling for them, took the steps necessary to puruse it, and are now or will soon be DOING it! Nursing, Occupational Therapy, Science Professor... clearly my first misstep was with my English degreee... I suppose I thought I could just read books forever! :) But in seriousness, I want to use whatever God has given me to the fullest impact for His kingdom. If intelligence is one of those gifts, how am I to best use that? I don't want to waste it! If all I ever want to do is be a mom and wife, have I wasted it? (This is the part where I need a specific answer...)


I want to be a lover of Jesus, completely and only satisfied by devoting myself to God and to boldly, passionately run in pursuit of his plans and purposes for my life. I think right now I'm just stalling out on which direction I'm supposed to be running! If you read this and think to do so, I'd be grateful for your prayers that God would help reveal this to me, or at least confirm to me that this waiting period is in fact part of his plan, and not my way of stalling in fear.

It Was Just Too Cold

...that is the only explanation as to why the power of Brett Favre's hotness was unable to carry the Packers to victory last night over the Giants. Only bone-chilling, sub-zero temperatures could stop this:

I'm sorry, did you say something? I wasn't paying attention.

KAYTHXBAI

Is there anything better on the internet than the website I Can Has Cheezburger? I don't know, because after I died from laughing I never saw anything else. So you tell me.

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Pictures of cats + text-message-style captions = hours of hilarity. Q.E.D.

Quit Yer Whinin'

I have this co-worker Bethany, who I love. She reminds me a lot of my dear friend from home, Cara. Both of them get these crazy ideas in which they somehow manage to convince others to participate. In high school, for example, Cara would get it in her head at 10:30 pm that we needed to do ______________ (fill in the blank with random craft project). Picture us 30 minutes later driving around to every Wal-Mart in West County until we found one that was open and had whatever supplies we needed.

So anyway, a couple weeks ago Bethany appeared, snapped a purple rubber bracelet on my wrist, and announced to me (and some others here in the office) that we were participating in a no-complaining campaign. The point, she explained, was to wear the bracelet on the same wrist for 21 straight days. The catch? You must change the bracelet to the other wrist any time you complain or speak in anger to another person.

I'm sure my first response was to roll my eyes. I'll admit I am sometimes quite skeptical about these grand plans of self-betterment that people have, and usually express them well wishes while in the back of my mind being certain of their inevitable failure.

And how awful is that? I'm ashamed that I think those things - what does it show but a disbelief in God's ability to work in other people's lives?

The more I thought about it, the more I was convicted that maybe it wasn't such a goofy idea after all. I took a trip over to my favorite Bible website, www.biblegateway.com, and looked up the word "complain." It pulled up several verses, including the following:

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." Philippians 2:14-16

Wow... does he really say to do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing?!! Like, everything everything? Like put my shoes away when my husband asks me for the 900th time? Like not shout tame profanities at the driver who cut me off? Like try not to rant to my friends about this or that going wrong in my life?

I don't think this means we have to be fake-happy when we aren't. As believers we should be able to mourn and weep with each other and discuss and disagree bring all our woes and troubles to lay down before Christ. But this verse indicates to me that there is a way to do that without all the negativity that we are all-to-quick to pour out on the nearest listening ear. I can tell my friends about a rough day at work without it turning into a pity party. I can serve my husband and build up our relationship by being gracious and kind as opposed to defensive or nagging.

Anyway, the point is, except for the days when I forget to put it on, I'm wearing the silly purple bracelet, and trying to be more aware of my complaining. And especially after reading that verse... I want to be one of those pure and blameless children of God in what is indeed a "crooked and depraved generation."

Christmas Songs

Downstairs right now my husband, dad, sister, and sister's friend Jeff are playing Wii tennis and my grandpa is sitting in his little wheelchair watching, and the house smells like freshly baked chex mix, and it makes me happy.

I thought I would list a few of my favorite words from the some Christmas hymns and songs, because those songs also make me happy. Sometimes it is little bits and phrases, while other times it is the whole verse.

I love thee Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my cradle til morning is nigh.

Joy to the world! The Lord is come. Let earth receive her king!

Yea, Lord we greet Thee
Born this happy morning
Jesus, to Thee be all glory given
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing.
O come let us adore Him.

O morning stars together proclaim the holy birth.

Angels from the realms of glory, wing your flight o'er all the earth
Ye who sang creation's story now proclaim the Messiah's birth

Jesus, Lord at thy birth

This, this is Christ the King
Whom shepherds watch and angels sing

Fragile finger, sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born.

Little baby
I am a poor boy too
I have no gift to bring
That's fit to give a king
I played my drum for him
I played my best for him
Then he smiled at me

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep,
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep."

The child, the child sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light

Chains shall he break; for the slave is our brother
And in His name, all oppression shall cease

And all the world give back the song which now the angels sing.

Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Risen with healing in His wings
Mild he lay His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing!
Glory to the newborn King.

Here's praying your Christmas is filled with the abundant joy found ever only in Christ and his great love.

Home again, home again, jiggidy jig

Tomorrow Ben and I are headed home to St. Louis... yaaaaaaaaay! I am ecstatic about this, as I have not seen my family in many months. The last time I was in St. Louis was in September with Heather, and neither my parents nor Ben's were in town!

Here are a few things I am looking forward to doing...

• Hanging out with Cara & talking about wedding stuff! Maybe while cross-stitching and watching X-Files, who knows?
• Ben gets to see Cody and Rob and they can have guitar talk and possible guitar shopping (this is their favorite thing to do together... seriously, they went guitar shopping the morning of our wedding).
• Seeing my grandpa
• Loving on my sister, who after the holidays is heading to Italy for a semester. Jealous!
• Houses full of doggies... Scruffy is coming home with us to stay at Ben's parents' house in the basement, to sniff noses through the gate at Monk and Zoe. And at my parents' house, along with Elmo and Ernie is my sister's dog Buckwheat. Crazy but delightful!
• Christmas Eve church service
• Christmas morning with my family around the tree
• Christmas day with Ben's family and nephew Logan
• Maybe possibly please oh please seeing some snow... it snowed there last weekend so maybe some has stuck around!
• French fries from Kriegers. Oh sweet sweetness.
• Re-watching LOST season 3.
• Playing Wii with my parents.
• Shopping at mom's scrapbooking store... I've been waiting!
• Eating whatever sort of delectable meat my dad has smoked.
• Giving presents... I love this part! I mean, don't get me wrong - I'm no saint, I love getting presents too. But I really love to pick out specific things for people and watching them open everything!
• Playing a real (albeit slightly out of tune) piano

I can't wait! Just one more day and we'll be on our way through "scenic" Southern Illinois, headed home to our families and friends and celebrating Christmas!

I hope wherever you are and whoever you're with that you are as excited for your Christmas plans as I am!

A Little Shaken Up

I usually like to keep this blog more upbeat, but every once in a while something happens that I just need to talk about... Today while I was driving to work I almost hit a man with my car, and it scared me horribly.

I was driving on a major road, and coming up to a large intersection (Nolensville and Old Hickory, for you Nashvillians). I moved to get into the right turn lane, which was wide open. The other two lanes in my direction were backed up waiting at the red light. I was zipping past them, totally within my boundaries, when from between two of the stopped cars darts a guy hustling across the street. He appeared and was almost instantly in my lane. I slammed on my brakes and screamed as my car screeched to a halt. This man literally had to jump out of my way and was so close my car must have brushed him; one step further and I would without a doubt have hit him, injured him, maybe even killed him.

I was shaking and crying so I pulled over after a few minutes to try and collect myself. I do NOT understand why someone would try to cross 6 lanes of traffic just a few yards from a busy intersection and not use the crosswalk! And he didn't even pause, didn't even look to see if there were cars coming down my lane. Even though if I had hit him I wouldn't have been at fault, realizing that I was so close to potentially seriously injuring or ending someone's life was terrifying. My mind was racing with the thought of what could have happened. What if I had glanced down to dig something out of my purse or change my CD? What is he had been jogging just a little faster? What if I had left my house 30 seconds earlier? What if what if what if...

But how good is our God, to place his hands in our lives, in the daily workings of our existence? To exist beyond and above our linear notions of time and our ideas about chance and fortitude. God is not playing a game of "what if." I believe that despite the seemingly incongruous ideas of His omniscience and our free will, God's plans are without flaw. I almost hit a man with my car today. Maybe I almost hit him so that the car behind me wouldn't actually hit him. Maybe I almost hit him so I'd be shaken up and more careful and deliberate about my driving habits. But I know there is a reason I didn't hit him, and at the same time a reason that I almost did. Thank you God, that today I didn't hit that man. I pray wherever he is that he is okay and that you have impressed upon his heart that it was more than just a chance occurance, just as you have revealed that to me.

On the Black Tights Bandwagon

Okay, I do not frequently jump on any particular fashion trend band-wagon. But when the black tights+black heels bus came by I was like, "Here's my bus pass, let me on." I don't know why I was attracted to this particular trend, except that maybe it is something I can actually wear... (unlike, say, the skinny jean or ankle boot. Shudder.)

Anyway, I became bound and determined to find the perfect pair of black, high-heel, patent leather, not-too-pointy, closed-toe shoes to complete my look. I finally found them at Payless... yay! And I wore the complete ensemble today and let me just say I LOVED it! It is not too often that I really love or even really care about "an outfit." But today was one of those days! I wore this dress from Target...

And black tights, and a shoe very similar to this:

And it was delightful! Of course I peeled it off immediately when I got home, because tights are one of the more uncomfortable things in the world, but still. It was great while it lasted!